Unintended

Spoken word

Spinning in circles, going nowhere; jumping hurdles; gasping for air; seeking answers; not what it seems; empty promises; shattered dreams; careless whispers; racing minds; slow down a minute, you're going blind; things that matter, things that don't; people who'll care, people who won't; giving love, finding hate; hold my heart but please don't break; searching for truth; telling lies; lovers laugh; loneliness cries; counting good deeds; subtracting sins; keeping score; no one wins; pain filled moments; stolen breaths; longing for shelter; inching toward death; a loving touch; a long embrace; kissing lips; where is this place; hand to mouth; unattainable wealth; incurable disease; poor mental health; winners and losers; predators and prey...

 

I truly don't believe God intended it this way. 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Tania Leigh]

Dani, I've got to agree with my sister that the flow of this is excellent -- it is such a smooth read that develops a nice fast pace. You have some excellent phrasing here, and it easily causes the mind to ponder many things....a truly great piece.

[Cardinal Robin]

AWEsome the punchline at the end makes it all WORTHwhile. Much of my style in spoken word is "sounds good" collections of words....they all fit the context and melody, but there is one mainline, and the voyage of the trip takes us all to the same destination. You got it RIGHTeous!
F-in BRAVISSMO!

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

such a strongly painfulfilled poem. i really do like it. it's sad with the glimmer of hope for happiness. great work.

[Mr. Lopez]

THIS IS REALLY GREAT!! I enjoyed the fast paced flow of words , the powerful message of each phrase and the way that it pick up speed as you read . One for the library !!

[Wildfleour]

I hear ya!

[vanishing]

Simply Excellent writing
The form justifies your thoughts
with sentimental descriptiveness
speaks on many levels
life seems to be a series of risks
unintended is the reflection
of action as a result of living-itself
As your writing points out
its a series-both good and bad
thanks!

[SilentDream]

Wonderful flow and truths expressed. Spoken word?

Looking forward to reading more of your work ;)
((Hugs and LOve)) ~SilentDream

[Hedra Helix]

me neither. i think he wanted us to be the shepherds.
great internal rhythm, and I dig where you get in the end

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

You really did a nice job with making this a fast paced read in the beginning before you say. ' slow down'...
Then it reads slower and so many truths .. i enjoyed this you have a great message in this and wrote it very well..


Chloe
xoxo

[WritefromtheHeart]

Dani--this is such a wonderful piece, it reads like and reminds me of that old Temptation's song "Ball of Confusion" (OK I'm really dating how old I am here with that statement!) ;-)
I guess what I'm trying to say is this piece has so much packed into it...so many everyday things, so much of it is universal to all of us...and then your statement at the end really puts it all into perspective. Excellent!!!

I like the format, the rhythm, and the choice of words. They all fall into place and jive, giving good emphasis on the message being imparted.

I can imagine seeing this hand written in a crumpled brown paper, or neatly written on a nice substance 24 80 gsm paper. Both ways, it is a short yet inspiring wisdom that is being imparted in a casual manner.

This is quite like having a conversation with Hemingway, and receiving wisdom through an informal gathering.

A good read.