Saddness Is An Understatment

Feelings suck

Am I selfish for wanting to be first sometimes?

Am I wrong for wanting my wife’s love and touch?

Why is it that I can’t get what I like and keep it?

Things like this remind me that I’m stupid.

Here I stand a truly beaten man.

My world has fallen apart.

I’m not sure how to deal with this anymore.

Yet I stay alive when I want to feel deaths embrace

Only because I can’t imagine the sadness on their faces.

Although my wife hurts herself because this life with me she cannot take.

What am I to do?

Where do I go from here?

I have lost everything.

First my mother.

A tragic scene that played out in front of my young mind.

Soon after my sanity.

Then tragedy stuck for a second time.

Losing my uncle,

Once again sadness and death in the eye of this beholder.

I lost my mind

I lost my wife.

To find love, that I should have never trusted.

It was a love from a damaged flower.

I feel it was because I wanted to belong.

To have my sanity.

She gave me my reason to live.

She supported me when tragedy struck again.

My first born withered away.

A year or watching him die.

Until death happened again.

And continues to plays over and over in my mind.

Now I am truly alone.

I have no one at all.

My best friend puts me off.

My wife now leaves me for TV shows.

She hates the life I have given her.

So why am I alive anymore?

Where do I go from here?

Where do I put my fear of life?

Where do I come up with the strength to live?

How do I get my life back?

Now I just want pains death stroke.

Can I get this for myself?

Can I be selfish on purpose for once?

Can I just die and finally feel the longing peace?

Author's Note

Comment, Review, Rate

Reviews

[Jon]

Wow! Sorry about your son Dan;( I cant imagine going threw what you have, but stay strong man things will get better. Might not seem like them right now, but like everything it just takes time. Youll find love again, and I know your son is looking down from heaven, proud of the great dad he has even if it was for a short time;) Like Coyote said, your a good man and I think the world has big things planned for you! When your time comes youll see them again. Stay strong, and when the world wants to try and bring you down, dont let it. Its sad but real, thanks for sharing.
-Jon

[Tomás Ó C..]

Time is the great healer, though all we learn to do is cope...

[Clarisse Nanoit]

It's in times like this (when you ask these questions) that you should draw strength. You're alone--so what? Don't get me wrong--I can't imagine losing my son or other loved ones. What I mean is, you can't change those things, and they're not your fault, so it's time to get up and find strength in doing what you have to. I'm sure there are others who need you. Stay strong, Daniel. The last thing others in your life need is more tragedy. Don't be that for them.
Much love, KH

[Ruth]

Life on an edge......I can feel the pain love and the anguish......so much we lose in life....how can we carry on at times, you have a strong heart and I send you much love and light sweetheart xx

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know how you feel. But I lost two brothers to suicide in 1988-1989. I was ready to give up. I volunteer for war to escape my sadness. Your last year been very hard. Sometime we must re-adjust our life and the people in it. Being alone is hard. Two can fight together and gather hope. Sometime we need to stop and ask what do you really need and want. Death isn't peace. You are a good man and will do many great things. Sometime a new surrounding can make a bad situation better. A sad and powerful poem. Thank you for sharing.
Coyote

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

This tears at ones heart. Despite life's tragedies whether they happen because we bring them on or not, happiness can be found again. I think we have to start with forgiving ourselves and reaching out to those we love with love. Well written