What is this i feel deep in my chest? This is something that won't let me rest! I toss and turn, Turn and toss! I need to figure this out. This need. This want. This hungering desire. This passion of unfilled lust! What is it. What could it be. Oh wait there it is. The last sip of my thirtieth beer.
Haha xD I was wondering about the picture of Brian and Stewie xD Nice work, the ending caught me off guard and was kind of refreshing to see some humor. You forgot to capitalize the "I" in the first line, by the way. Otherwise, nice work :)
Lol this is great! Can I just say "Family Guy" is my absolute favorite cartoon... Anyway, I really like this poem, it's fun, it's light, and it made me laugh. Your wife should bug you more often, lol :P
By my thirtieth beer I wouldn't be tossing and turning. I would be sleeping. Lately I need one beer to relax the old mind for sleep. Becoming like my Grandfather in my old age. A very interesting tale. Have fun and be safe.
Coyote
Posted 14 Years Ago
I like where this poem ends. I'm not in love with the beginning of the poem though. It starts too slow. I think this poem should be quicker, with the end being the definitive slap! I felt that the real energy of the poem started with the line "i need to figure this out." Great read otherwise. Thanks
I'm an inspiring writer that has a million and ten thoughts running through his head all day. I joined this site because my wife inspired me to. I was not prepared for the thoughts to jump out so much.. more..