The talk.

This unfinished piece is based off of a dream I had. I dream about people from my past often, but this dream didn’t follow the usual “I hate you I’m trying to get away” storyline. It was different.

The rain outside was relentless, angry and desperate, the way it hit her bedroom window was almost pleading. Rose loved rainy days, she loved the calm, quiet and still of it all, the way a rainy day forced her to slow down, and think.
She had to get ready soon.
Rose didn’t want to leave. She hated having to leave the house on rainy days, as in her books, rainy days were unadulterated, uninterrupted “me time” at home, and she didn’t like such time being disrupted, especially by activities she deemed frivolous. If not for the fact that he was going to be there, she would have definitely stayed home.
Looking in the mirror she tried to decide what to do with her hair. She had more hair than she would have liked, and it was definitely at a length that would no longer be considered “the awkward length stage” so that meant she had to actually make an effort when taking to styling her hair. She eyed up her hair products slowly, ranging from “Bee mine curly butter” to “Carol’s daughter macadamia nut oil” trying to figure out what to do. She considered spraying a water-oil mixture into her hair, shaking it out, fluffing it up and then leaving it to run wild, but with the rain and the humidity in the air her hair would surely shrink; she disregarded the idea.
While still thinking she heard her sister call from downstairs “Rose, what time are you leaving?”
Rose rolled her eyes, knowing a request was coming. “In the next thirty minutes maybe? Why? What do you want?”
In the place of a reply, she heard footsteps towards her room. Rose sighed audibly as her bedroom door swung open and her sister’s smiling face appeared before her.
Rose turned towards her and regarded her sister’s outfit. Her normally messy short black hair was plaited into two large cornrows better revealing her oval shaped face. She hadn’t yet put make-up on for any coverage over her caramel coloured skin, but she had sprayed her freshly washed skin with perfume, “Nude” by Rihanna. She wore a plain, sleeveless black crop top showing off her pancake flat midsection and shiny belly button piercing. She bent over to roll up her Joni jeans and pull down her mismatched socks, then looked up and gave Rose a look, a look Rose knew all too well as she had seen the look her whole life.
“Courtney, what is it? You know I’m going somewhere so you can’t be asking me for favours now” Rose exclaimed turning back to her reflection, she still hadn’t figured out what to do with her hair.
“Can you drop me to Marie’s place? We’re supposed to be going out and I’m running late” Courtney replied, also turning to look in the mirror.
“What, late as usual?” Rose taunted, waving one hand dismissively at her sister and using the other hand to grab her tub of coconut oil.
“Leave me alone, it’s not as if dropping me will inconvenience you, you said you can reach where you’re going at any time” Courtney remarked leaning against the door.
“Just because I can get there any time doesn’t mean I want to get there late, Marie’s place is out of my way. I can drop you at the station or something, but taking you all the way there is out of the question at this point, as you can see I’m about ready to leave if not for my hair.” Rose paused. “In fact… what do you think I should do to my hair? Should I hold down the sides’ fauxhawk style or shall I put it in a bun or ponytail? What do you think would go best with what I’m wearing?”
Courtney looked her over, her eyes lingering over Rose’s loose but tight bodycon dress; she planned to wear her black converse with the dress.
This was not a ‘dress up’ event, not in Rose’s opinion anyway. She knew there would certainly be girls there that would be dressed to the nines all because of the promise of new men being in the vicinity, but Rose was not that kind of female. Besides, why overdress for new men when the old man who still had her heart was going to be there, and he had seen her both dressed to the nines and in her pyjamas.
“Well… I think both would go with your outfit to be honest, but I think you should do a nice bun just to be on the safe side, it’ll bring out the shape of your face” Courtney replied. She reached over to take one of Rose’s lipsticks and Rose shot her a look. “What? I’m just looking! I don’t want any of your dead lipstick colours, I just want to see what you have”
Rose rolled her eyes and turned back to her reflection in the mirror. She imagined herself, hair slicked and neat at the base but keeping the bun messy and full on the top, thick winged eyeliner and SIN by Mac colouring her lips, hell yes.
Rose set about spreading some Macadamia nut oil edge control over her hands, grateful that she had applied coconut oil to her hair and hands seconds earlier. She began to coat her freshly dyed hair with the gel, wine burgundy revealing the full extent of itself in the lighting of her bedroom. Picking up her hairbrush and turning it over to the hard side, she started going back over the front and back of her hair when she noticed her sister was still watching her.
“Can I help you Miss piggy?” Rose taunted.
“Yeah so, are you gonna give me the lift or what? Can’t you just make life easier for me and help?” Courtney moaned.
“Listen here, it’s nobodies fault but your own that you are late, I don’t understand why you didn’t get ready early enough to get there on time, you knew it was important you get to Marie’s early today as the doors to the theatre will close if you’re late” Rose replied having zero sympathy. Courtney groaned before giving her next reply.
“No but please! I was being lazy because I was watching bad girls club! Can’t you just help me?! You know I can’t afford to lose this ticket money, and Marie and I really need to see this show because we need to write an evaluation on it for our coursework! Just take me!” Courtney said exasperated.
Rose looked her up and down “Look here sir, I am not the reason for this lateness, nor am I your taxi driver, and so you can find your own way there!”


Rose turned the corner to Mill field road and drove directly into her normal parking space. She sighed, frustrated that she had given in and driven her sister to Marie’s, knowing that she would have never done it if she knew the kind of traffic that she would catch up to making the drive from North to South London. She kissed her teeth and stopped the engine, then restarted the engine as she forgot to roll up her windows.
Once the windows were rolled up, she took a moment to look herself over and mentally prepare for what she’d meet inside.
An old high school friend had invited her to this house party about a week ago, and she had already decided she wasn’t going until he had let her know that he would be going.
Usually, the fact that he was coming would stir her curiosity about the event, but not enough for her to go as she wasn’t a party girl in the least. It was the way he had asked her to go that had made her cancel her previous plans and put going at the top of her list.
“Please, I need you to be there, I need to see you. You know I’m going to support Nidu, but I won’t be able to breathe unless you’re there.”
She felt robbed of her sanity in that moment, and she was forced to sit down while everything in her softened. They needed to talk, she knew that, but she had sworn blind to herself and anyone who would listen that when they finally did talk, it would be on her terms.
She berated herself for turning into the putty that she did when it came to him.
Che.
She hated and loved everything that made him who he was all at the same time. He was the person who broke but also fixed her, he was the person who made her cry but also made her smile the way no one else could, he was the one who brought out the part of her being that was extremely complicated. She was sure, more than anything that the undoing of her and everything she stood for would be in his arms, in his bed, and this was the thing she did and didn’t want to happen.
She sighed.
Rose looked at number 11, eyeing up carefully the people that stood outside drinking, smoking and generally just being; some of them talking close together and others screaming to high heavens.
She felt like a fool. “Why am I even here?” she asked herself. “No real conversation with any meaning can be had in a place like this, the music would be too loud and there would be too many people, not to mention if he was in the kind of mood he was in when I spoke to him earlier then this conversation wouldn’t go the way it would under normal circumstances.” She was thinking out loud. This is what she hated, the fact that when it came to him, there were too many uncertainties, Lord knew she disliked the unknown when it came to normal, every day situations; the fact that she was willingly and unwillingly standing on uncertain ground with him grated heavily on her.
Switching the engine off again, she took a deep breath and mumbled a silent prayer. “Lord, let your will be done tonight. May I see everything I need to see, and hear anything I need to hear…amen.”
She opened the car door and slowly climbed out, making sure she hadn’t left her phone or her iPod in the passenger seat; she picked up her jacket and shut the door.

Author's Note

This isn’t quite finished yet, and I’ve actually in a way been putting off finishing it because of my current ending! Lol it gives away too much of myself, but feel free to give feedback on it so far.
Credit to Isabee for the artwork, she basically drew me without even knowing it lol.