Because Of Me

Everything is all because of me.

It's my fault

Its over

My mind

Played tricks on me

I fell 

For the lies

That people told on you

Its my insecurities 

That drove us to the ground

I'm sorry

That we ended

All because of me

I didn't mean

The words I said,

I hope you forgive me

And if you just give me

One more chance

I promise you

I will stay true

I promise 

With all my heart

This time,

This time

It won't be 

Because of me 

Reviews

[Brett Forsythe]

I personally disagree with the harsh critic, I feel like your pieces have a lot of emotion and I enjoy them. I feel like you need to experiment more with different styles of writing though and find what else may work for you. diversify yourself.
Well done

[Tasha]

Thank you Brett that really means a lot.

[Letemdangle]

Sounds like you're setting up yourself for heart break and blaming yourself. Don't do it.

[samantha]

I.loved.that!:D

[Tasha]

Thank you Samantha.

[Tree]

I like your message, and the style of this poem. Clear,
concise. Well written Tasha.

[Tasha]

Thanks Diego

[David Scott]

Ah the drama of high school. I wish I could tell you that all the grown ups finally rise above the petty and hurtful. Your in training for life as we know it. I would encourage you to be strong and sure and apologize less. Accept others and forgive them quickly. Still, be very picky to whom you give your commitments to. Seldom if ever is "everything all because of me".
Now, the poem... Great pen and very clear picture of many misguided self defacing young minds. Well done. Be well and triumph Tasha!

[Tasha]

Thank you so much Ambiguity.

[Pritesh]

Amazing poem with a great message!greatly writien poem!According to me there was no mistakes in this type of great poem!keep writing!

[nevermindfan1991]

It's my fault
Its over
My mind
Played tricks on me
I fell 
For the lies
That people told on you
Its my insecurities 
That drove us to the ground
I'm sorry
That we ended
All because of me
I didn't mean
The words I said,
I hope you forgive me
And if you just give me
One more chance
I promise you
I will stay true
I promise 
With all my heart
This time,
This time
It won't be 
Because of me

This is more of statement than a poem. Everything is stated directly. Nothing is elaborate or appeals to any of the senses. It lacks depth and is not very engaging.
You don’t give us a passageway to your emotions by just stating facts. You have to tell us what the facts mean to you through metaphors, imagery, and scrupulous word choice. This is just lamentation to someone who you “fell of” with. I wanted more than this. This is not special and does not tell me anything about you as a poet.
Sorry for the harsh critique.

[Jazique]

Nice I really like that, the message is great and clear. So little people can see the faults that they had in a fall out but its up to them to learn from them and make a amends and whether they get that chance, its up to the beholder. Either ways excellent poem, I knew by the end of the day I want to read this particular poem and I'm glad I did. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem with a good message. I like the desire to seek forgiveness and the hope of a reunion. No weakness in the outstanding poem.
Coyote