Watching My Prey

Obsession and wanting revenge.

Getting ready

Looking my best

Tonight I will put you to the test

The test of self control,

You won't even know its me

You can sense that someone is watching you

But you don't know who,

That's what it should feel like when I'm 

Watching my prey

Waiting for you to mess up

Waiting for you to make a mistake

A mistake that could damage

Everything we had

And worked hard for

I walk up to you in my light blue mask

I tap your shoulder

And give you a long passionate kiss,

The party stops

Not a word is said

I turn around to runaway

But halfway out the door someone catches my hand 

I smile to myself,

I spun  around so fast

I couldn't even see who it was

Whoever it was returned the passionate kiss

Making my heart skip a few beats

I had to do what I had to do,

I pulled my dagger from around my ankle

And I stabbed him,

I watched as my prey fell helplessly to the ground

I kissed his cheek as I watched him fall

Into a deep never ending sleep

Author's Note

Since I've been away for a while I thought I'd come back with a bang. I hope you like it. Sorry I went crazy with the colors.

Reviews

[Kestrova]

The colors really make each statement stand out and add flavor to an already fantastic piece. This had a good rhythm, even if it took me a moment to catch on to it. However, the flow is disrupted in the fifth stanza with the word 'spinned' when 'spun' would be the appropriate term. Other than that, it's a great poem! :)

[FallenWingz]

u definitely did come back with a colorful come back...beautiful

[Gilbert Saint]

Love the colouring, indicating points of stress, loved it.

[EricGodsil]

A well constructed piece and some of the colors seemed fitting. I enjoyed this story you presented to us. Please send a picture of this femme fatale so I may avoid her in the future. ;)

[Alicia Hirshey]

beautiful

[Star Wolf]

I really like this compelling story and dark story in your poem. The colors were okay by me. They highlighted certain key events in this. Very enjoyable read.

[Audrey Howitt]

Well I like the colors except for the yellow for the word "smile"--I have to work too hard to have to read the word--Kind of more dark for you---I like it.

[Sam Severn]

YEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such a blood-curdling little poem!!! I had no idea where it was headed, and then, BOOM! the ending ROCKED ME! ㋡

[ClockWork GRIMM]

hmm... Not bad... Not perfect but it's definitely getting there... Keep it up...

[d]

well, i don't like the colors. i don't think its necessary at all. and i'm not so sure if this poem is spoken by only one person or 2. is it 2? i could be totally misreading this so what i have to say could be completely wrong but at any rate, it does make me wonder and i like that. i feel like it has the thoughts of two people. one at the top without color and another the second half - with the colors. and then, who did the stabber stab? was it right on target? or did an "innocent" get it by mistake? i hope you don't think i'm complaining... i love the mystery. i could see this becoming a major tragic opera or shakespearian-like play. well, these were my thoughts as i read. i hope it makes at least a little sense.

[alexlessah]

I loved it, and the color words worked amazing with it!