Disconnection

A solider's wife's worse nightmare when getting a phone call.

You use to call me everyday

To tell me you were safe

You asked me about the kids

And I said that they were okay

I asked you how you were

And you said things could be worse

I said I loved you and then hung up,

Everyday I sat by the phone

Waiting for you to call me,

Never expecting the worse

The phone finally rings as I dash to it

Saying hello

I listen carefully as the man explains to me,

He says I'm sorry mam but he got a bullet to the chest saving his friend

Silence entered the phone

All I could hear was the dial tone

I hung up in disbelief

And I disconnected myself

A knock at the door started me

As a man with a flag said to me

I'm sorry for your loss is there anything we can do?

I said yes please help me,

Because I don't know what to do

A sudden pain stricken me

As I think about being disconnected from him

It is the worse feeling ever,

I pull out his good suit

To find a letter in the pocket

That said I love you and we will never disconnect,

A necklace of a phone expresses the love we shared,

Realizing we can never have a disconnection

Author's Note

I hope you like it. Don't ask why I made it slanted I really don't know why. Thanks for the reviews!

Reviews

[Chris]

Ta'Sha,

The author chooses how to build the cohesive tension... for you slanting worked.
I've been there as doors were opened to answer knocks and rings - on both sides. Loss is deeply shocking and harrowing. Deeply horrified and total grief to absolute numbness - quite a gamut to work with AND have to live with. I think you caught the gut feel of being left behind... You never understand it... just do your best to survive it.

Take care,
Chris

[Kat Collins]

I like the form of the poem...the slanting of it adds impact to the words. I agree with another's comment that the word disconnected, disconnect are repeated a bit often...less is more sometimes. Also the word "stricken" doesn't seem to fit...hmmmm...maybe it's the structure of the phrase? I'm not sure...

You capture the emotion and heart well of what many go through with the knock on the door and the heart-rending pain of being told someone you love is gone. It's a pain I never wanted to experience...but have....and nothing I would wish on anyone.

[Day Dreamer]

I loved this piece, I've never had anyone go to the military but it seems hard to imagine it. Keep writing! :)

[...]

beautifully written
very moving

[Lindsey]

It's a beautiful writing. I loved reading it very much.

[Call Me Blu]

It's really good but I wish it didn't repeat disconnect so much, maybe at the beginning and end would be better. By the time it reaches the true emotion where the word has to MEAN something it's already been said so much it just gets lost.

[Daniel88Batson]

Real nice piece of writing. Nice work. Again.

[brenda]

:'( noooooo! this is a sad poem but its beautifully tragic !:)

[Fire Tulip]

This made me bawl my eyes out! I love it, though! Very powerful write, indeed. We americans need to cherish our soliders for sure!

[The fallen of innocence]

this is so sad, a soldier's wife's worst fear to come true. but i rly love this poem. an undying love