The Edge

I'm on the edge

with you

hanging on by a thread

trying to keep what we had..

I'm slipping..

catch me..

hold me..

I don't want to loose you

we're about to fall

I hate being on the edge

with you

because you let us fall apart

Author's Note

I hope you like it.

Reviews

[kymee]

nice poem. I've been on the edge too and that is quite uncomfortable.Did you both let it fall apart?you were doing all the work in the beginning of the poem. your choice was to get out or get off instead you both let it go. Could be expanded a bit, but necessary, thanks for letting me read your poem and stay off that edge

[Jessica]

short and sweet (:
pretty much everyone can relate, so it was nice to read.

[Yina]

Aw that's so sad:( You did a wonderful job with writing it though. Beautiful:)

[Amanda Naomi]

that is so sad.... but sometimes...necessary...

[Lindsey]

I did enjoy reading this it is a painful story.

[KrisK]

This poem dredges up in me the desire to encourage the dependent one to stand on his/her own...stand in his/her own power...and not be dependent on the unreliabilty of another's own journey...would love to read more...to see where it goes

[Bertie]

Again, simple and concise, the poem has a direct destination and the reader can predict as such.
Sweet and moving :)

[Cassiopia Summers]

Really good write. Short and sweet. Perfect.

[Joshua Donahue]

Very honest. I found it very relatable. However, I am saddened that you chose not to elaborate more on the piece. I think you could have added more intensity to it. It would have made the piece far more powerful. But the point was put across nevertheless. I enjoyed the short piece. :)

[brenda]

this is great a relatable write to anyone !:)

[Green Regol]

I don't know what kind of feedback you're looking for. Emotionally, I agree with everybody else.
Because this is a poem I'm not sure what grammar rules apply, but when I write poetry I like to keep all the same punctuation as I would when writing a story (commas where needed, period at the end of a sentence, etc.). You have this double-period going on in there and I'm not sure what you mean by it.

Another rule I'm not sure of when writing poetry is whether or not you're supposed to always capitalize the first letter of each line. I see you don't. I do.

Anyways, short, simple and sweet. I wrote a poem similar to this one's topic before, only it came out a whole lot longer and a lot less...good.