Look What You've Created

The mess someone has made someone else become

Look what you've created!
a monster,
the devil,
someone who doesn't care about any body else

You've infested her with the
" That's  not my problem syndrome "
you've made her turn against her friends
all because you say you love her,

But you don't love her,
you just want to use her;
and pump her like a cow,
until the milk runs dry
then  you run like a coward

You say you care about her,
but you don't care about anybody
but yourself,
you selfish low life!

Look what you've created,
a lion that can't be tamed,
a Tasmanian devil...
its you that  created her...

But in the end, you're just going to hurt her.

Author's Note

I read a facebook status about someone who "cares" about their girlfriend but she turned into a monster, and then I wrote this. This is definitely not my best, but I hope you guys like it.

Reviews

[Cari Lynn Vaughn]

This is good, but you could tighten it up a bit. Leave the imagery and metaphors to speak for themselves and leave out "but you just don't love her" and "You say you just don't care about her" lines. Keep the stuff about milk, cows and lions and devils. Those are vivid images. Thanks for sharing. Keep working at it :-)

[LeaflessTree]

I hate how things like this happen, it's happening to my best friend :(

[EdgeOfDark]

Hi Ta'Shandra! This guy makes all the good men out there look like maggots. Very powerful, very direct prose ... sharp like a dagger. It made me pretty angry, and what's so sad is that so many young people think this is the way to live! Good work.

[Crimson Goddess]

like it

[Dark Angel ~]

It was good. Men are stupid, and most don't care for anyone but themselves. >.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know. A real Tasmanian Devil is a scary beast. I like the way you wrote the poem. I don't know you can create a Tasmanian Devil. I believe you must have some devil hiding first. No weakness in this poem. Direct and honest words. I like the strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Elijah Gleaves]

you obvious don't like her boyfriend lol. if you edit this it could be really cool

[brenda]

true many friends have gone by because they changed like how you described nice poem!!:)

[Aleyah]

I agree with the subjet matter whole-heartedly. It's annoying when people are blind to other people's monstrous personalities. Great piece :)