Look What You've Created

The mess someone has made someone else become

Look what you've created!
a monster,
the devil,
someone who doesn't care about any body else

You've infested her with the
" That's  not my problem syndrome "
you've made her turn against her friends
all because you say you love her,

But you don't love her,
you just want to use her;
and pump her like a cow,
until the milk runs dry
then  you run like a coward

You say you care about her,
but you don't care about anybody
but yourself,
you selfish low life!

Look what you've created,
a lion that can't be tamed,
a Tasmanian devil...
its you that  created her...

But in the end, you're just going to hurt her.

Author's Note

I read a facebook status about someone who "cares" about their girlfriend but she turned into a monster, and then I wrote this. This is definitely not my best, but I hope you guys like it.

Reviews

[Cari Lynn Vaughn]

This is good, but you could tighten it up a bit. Leave the imagery and metaphors to speak for themselves and leave out "but you just don't love her" and "You say you just don't care about her" lines. Keep the stuff about milk, cows and lions and devils. Those are vivid images. Thanks for sharing. Keep working at it :-)

[*[[ Cadence ]]*]

Nice!

[BlackCl0ud]

It's okay that's it's 'not your best', this is an emotional release and an up to date account of life, sadly. I have to omit I do like it, it seems to be carved out of life itself.

[Babieegirl]

Good write, Yeah... Isn't so sad how people become after they get in a relationship? Tsk Tsk...

[Krystal Nicole]

Powerful. . Wonderful poem!!

[joshua deathdealer]

Nicely done.

[Rene Velez]

damn he must hide from you, lol nice write...

[ImagineItAll]

I definitely liked this! It's strong and descriptive and captivating!

[d]

i can't help seeing another side. i don't know if it is there or not but i keep wanting to ask the question, who are you writing about? i hope that is not a bad question. it is just something i am seeing. maybe you are making me see me. but i don't know.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Powerful and direct piece, theres no understanding for people who purposely hurt others in some way....even if you want a relationship with them. Unfortunately, the world is full of them.

[L. Catherine]

I have met so many people that are like this, it's so true. Nicely done!