She Thought it was Love

The title says it all.

She thought she had found Mr. Right,
and everything would be alright,
but she was wrong
then  her world started to fall

She thought she had found the one,
 one different from the rest,
who understood
all that she talked about

She thought she found love
when he said
that she was the only girl for him,
she believed every word,
she hung on to them for dear life
like a fish helplessly hanging
onto a hook

But she was left
sad,
and alone
flip flopping her feelings
with   the one she loves...

She thought she was in love,
but it seemed like she was the only one
in love...

Author's Note

A friend was telling me about her problems about being in love with a guy and he didn't seem to love her back. This feeling sucks, and I gave her some advice and then I wrote this.

Reviews

[Andrew - Moon Fixer]

Okay. this is a good piece, but it needs work. First the Sentences they need to flow. This needs help...
(but she was wrong
then her world started to fall)
Okay try this...
(she was wrong.
Her world fell a part)

Now this part take a look...

( She thought she had found Mr. Right,
and everything would be alright,)
There is nothing wrong here but one thing. It Rhymes. The thing is that the rest does not I was expecting that all of it rhymes, ether all or nothing.
I am a victom of this myself. let's try this
( Mr. Right, she believed she had,
Thinking that God has blessed her.

But she was wrong.
The day fell to night. )
Take a look at this. I look forword to reading this again.

[quinfinn]

terrific write and kudos to you for expressing in verse what your friend went through. very nice!

[Krystal Nicole]

Great job!!! man, I wish I can write poetry lke that!!!

[lostboy]

a one sided love is to hard..if i dont see love in their eyes .and there actions its best to go on down the road.i like the way you put this together.

[Kat24]

hi,
this is really good. very interesting. Kat24

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

Love can hurt, just like the thorns on a rose. Good poem.

[nothingnothingforgetfor..]

Really packs a punch. Your great at neatly stiching emotional messages into your work! :) fantastic!!

[Lucy]

This is an amazing poem!

[Allie :)]

*but it seemed like she was the only one
in love.

Your wording on this line was beautiful, and your entire poem expresses throughly the pain of realizing that he's not all that you think it is.
You might have been able to break apart your stanzas a little better (for example, like this:)
She thought
she found
love
when he said
that she was the only girl for him,
she believed
every word

I would have loved to see the pattern that you wrote this in as more jerky, and a little bit more unforgiving but all-i-all, this piece was quite good :)

[Alicia Hirshey]

This is amazing

[Helpless]

wow.... sad and powerful