She Thought it was Love

The title says it all.

She thought she had found Mr. Right,
and everything would be alright,
but she was wrong
then  her world started to fall

She thought she had found the one,
 one different from the rest,
who understood
all that she talked about

She thought she found love
when he said
that she was the only girl for him,
she believed every word,
she hung on to them for dear life
like a fish helplessly hanging
onto a hook

But she was left
sad,
and alone
flip flopping her feelings
with   the one she loves...

She thought she was in love,
but it seemed like she was the only one
in love...

Author's Note

A friend was telling me about her problems about being in love with a guy and he didn't seem to love her back. This feeling sucks, and I gave her some advice and then I wrote this.

Reviews

[Andrew - Moon Fixer]

Okay. this is a good piece, but it needs work. First the Sentences they need to flow. This needs help...
(but she was wrong
then her world started to fall)
Okay try this...
(she was wrong.
Her world fell a part)

Now this part take a look...

( She thought she had found Mr. Right,
and everything would be alright,)
There is nothing wrong here but one thing. It Rhymes. The thing is that the rest does not I was expecting that all of it rhymes, ether all or nothing.
I am a victom of this myself. let's try this
( Mr. Right, she believed she had,
Thinking that God has blessed her.

But she was wrong.
The day fell to night. )
Take a look at this. I look forword to reading this again.

[jhed]

I can relate but this needs help. i think. you missed words that would encapsulate a person while reading this. It lacks emotion. I know there's more to what your friend was telling you about and more to what you can do. Try to redo it and turn it into a more capturing work of art. Keep it up!

[nevermindfan1991]

The feeling does suck, and you were able to describe it vividly and love the phrase like hanging like a fish on a hook. That is how one feels in relationship that love in unrequited and it's one sided. Interesting topic and it happens too many people this days. People hang hopelessly, never letting go even when they know the truth...

[a_mystery]

One sided love really sucks, specially when the other one makes false promises.

Nice poem. Loved it.

[gothicchica]

okay that was good

[lovejulez03]

I can definitely relate to this poem. I think everyone can relate. Good job at portraying the problems your friend has been going through. I feel bad about her pain.People can be so heartless

[♥Lugar Para Siem..]

This is a very deep poem, Since I am having problems, its hard to review it as I normally do.... This is an excellent poem

[Searching 4 Serenity]

Grr, one thing that pisses me off the most is when someone simply uses another in a relationship. (Sex, money, attention. W/E it may be)

I have to agree with the crowd. This could use a little sprucing up.

[GreenQueen]

I like the concept, maybe switcharoo some words here and there? But that's just me. Overall, very nice work :) I think a lot of girls, and even guys feel this way, it's a sad, sad feeling to love without being loved back. It's not always worth it, but some things can turn around.....

[misha]

This was sad poem. Great job!