My friends mom works with abused women and children and I went with her to work yesterday and we interviewed a pregnant and former prostitute and drug addict and how she wants to get her life together for her unborn child. It was really sad, but this is what I came up with.
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Again, another true-to-life portrait. I volunteer at a battered womens shelter every couple of weeks, and to say its a miserable place is being kind. The kids are the most scarred of all. That poem's a dream that every mother wants for their child ... those that are trying, that is. Well done.
I hope she makes it because its a long hard road to recovery , but she has something special now ..glad she is in the right place to get the support she needs ..your friends mum is an angel worker and many blessing to her it must be a hard job as not every person can be saved ........ well written i did think it was about abortion when i first read it but now i understand ..
First I would like to commend you on spending your time in such a meaningful and powerful way. In service to others we make a big difference, more than we will ever realize. The poem is beautifully written and soulful. In sleep we are revived, rewnewed and restored; this is a perfect response to what you experienced in meeting her. You write beyond your years Ta'Shandra and have gifts to give through your insight.
It is a tragedy of life that this occurs, it is disturbing that it has always occurred but we are now more knowledgeable about it. It is scary that it will continue to occur.
It is good to hear that the one interviewed is getting herself together for the sake of the child, that is love in its purest form.
A nice poem, expressing the shame she feels but mixed with hope and determination.
Posted 13 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
Not bad. I like the use of repetition, starting each stanza. The opening stanza is excellent, strong start. Second stanza drop the last line, will help with flow and overall appearance of the piece. I would suggest that you reword/ order stanzas 4,5,6 and make a closing stanza 7. Again it is just the overall flow of the piece that gets choppy after the third.
Great message of hope. Good poem overall.
sad but hopeful.. i hope the mother would gather courage to raise her child. As a single women itself, it's hard to grow a child. With no home of her own, no job, it will be very very hard. I just hope and pray that both of them would get a good n decent life..
and nice poem. brought out the emotions perfectly..
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