Our Cloud

For The World 500 Group.

" I see a rabbit ",
" I see a tree ",
I see what my world use to be
my thoughts were consumed of  you...

We met when we were five years old
at the park looking at clouds
we declared that heart shaped cloud to be our cloud
and our cloud it became
and our cloud its remained... until now...

We're not as strong as we once were,
what ever happened to us and our cloud?
you said nothing would tear what we have apart,
but something has and its more than I can handle

Our cloud is broken
while we each have our separate pieces
and go our separate ways
hopefully or cloud can join together again
instead of raining hell  on  both of our lives

Author's Note

This is for The World 500 Group. The theme is fluffy clouds. Thanks

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I really like the comparison you made here...you picked a unique symbol for a relationship that I've never seen before. It's a really cool thought that a couple could have a cloud that was 'theirs.' This is one of my favorite poems you've written...you tell a great story without any tired, over-used lines about how the cloud has turned dark. The ending line was a superb wrap-up.

[Lily Mae]

Beautiful heart felt poem..and I could really feel the pain in the last stanza.. Great job penning those emotions..xx

[.......]

hopefully or cloud can join together again
instead of raining hell on both of our lives

I really enjoyed this part,
Especially the lines Insteadof raining hell.
Clever and creative.

[lifesmith]

The fleeting nature of puppy love. So innocent, so sweet, rarely lasting

[Lourisa]

A lovely bitter-sweet poem. Great imagery.

[Bertie]

A very sweet poem, I get a very innocent vibe from it as well as a sad one, which is lovely :)
I have to agree my favourite line is "we declared that heart shaped cloud to be our cloud"
Well done

[Amanda Naomi]

this was a very cute poem.... my fav line was "we declared that heart shaped cloud to be our cloud"

it reminded me of the innocence of youth and the silliness of wanting to own something as insubstantial as a cloud

[quinfinn]

stunning imagery and personification, this is beautifully conceived and nicely worded. great job!