Our Cloud

For The World 500 Group.

" I see a rabbit ",
" I see a tree ",
I see what my world use to be
my thoughts were consumed of  you...

We met when we were five years old
at the park looking at clouds
we declared that heart shaped cloud to be our cloud
and our cloud it became
and our cloud its remained... until now...

We're not as strong as we once were,
what ever happened to us and our cloud?
you said nothing would tear what we have apart,
but something has and its more than I can handle

Our cloud is broken
while we each have our separate pieces
and go our separate ways
hopefully or cloud can join together again
instead of raining hell  on  both of our lives

Author's Note

This is for The World 500 Group. The theme is fluffy clouds. Thanks

Reviews

[Blue Moon Ice Cream]

I really like the comparison you made here...you picked a unique symbol for a relationship that I've never seen before. It's a really cool thought that a couple could have a cloud that was 'theirs.' This is one of my favorite poems you've written...you tell a great story without any tired, over-used lines about how the cloud has turned dark. The ending line was a superb wrap-up.

[Kat24]

hi,
this is really good. Kat24

[brenda]

great poem!!

[*[[ Cadence ]]*]

sweet poem..loved it

[Cherrie Palmer]

great rhyme and pace to this piece

[unknown]

It's funny how when we stare at the clouds long enough that we imagine them as some picture. Great poem :)

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

sometimes our clouds change shape, but they are still our clouds, we just have to adjust to the changes and still love. A beautiful piece Ta"Shandra

[Brad]

great metaphor on the fragility of relationships

[Enigma]

Loved it. Beautiful use of imagery. Suits well with the fluffy clouds theme.

[Chelsea]

I really like how the cloud becomes more than just a cloud. It symbolizes what you guys used to be. Also, the emotion is quite evident in this poem.

[Joseph Gregory]

Fantastic Imagery. Sweet but sad. Lots of emotion here.