If I Were To Die In  Seven Days...

If I Were To Die In Seven Days...

A Poem by Tasha
"

read authors note

"
If I were to die in seven days
would you be by my side?
would you help me get over the fact
that this movie's coming to an end?
could you be my support system,
or would you just sit there...
and let the last week of my life come and go

If I were to die in seven days
could we put aside our differences...
could you be there for me... just this once
because there is no second chance

If I were to die in seven days
would you show me the best week of my life,
because nothing's really been that exciting

If I were to die in seven days
would you finally express your love to me
or would you still keep it a secret?

If I were to die in seven days,
it wouldn't matter what anybody else thought
because we would have each other until the end

© 2011 Tasha


Author's Note

 Tasha
In my bible class we are talking about Jesus' death and how he only had one more week to live. This is also for the Prompts and Reviews Week 2, and that was your greatest fear and my greatest fear is someone liking you but they can't tell you. I know it seems kind of choppy at places, but I did my best. Thanks for reviews :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Beautiful sentiment, and heartfelt subject, Ta'shandra. I believe you could add to the poem's impact by making the whole a series of tercets. Simply done, without a great deal of editing:

If I were to die in seven days,
would you help me get over the fact
that this movie's coming to an end?

Could you be my support system,
or would you just sit there...
and let the last week of my life come and go?

If I were to die in seven days
could you be there for me... just this once
because there is no second chance?

...and continue with the rest of your fine write. Just a suggestion...try reading it aloud both ways, and see if it adds impact to your ears.

Well done, in any event.

Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

well done! i think you penned this together very well. thought provoking and poignant :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

As always, your work is exemplary. Thought provoking and well articulated insights.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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EMW
Wow. This made me really think. Would I be this type of person? I would without a doubt. Would any of my friends. Many of them would. This was very beautiful. I didn't notice really in choppy parts but then again grammar isn't my forte especially when it comes to poems. Like everyone said below my comment you truly did an amazing job with this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this question. Because I think when you know you're going to be gone soon, you really start to identify what and who is important to you. Inhibitions seem trivial and I think you would know yourself far deeper and better those seven days than you ever did any day prior to it. If only we could throw caution to the wind like this every day....

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is an interesting poem. It inspires thought and self reflection on two parts. The first if you were going to die and knew, who would you want around. The second if someone you knew was dyeing, would you be here. More important are you special enough to someone that they would Want you around for their final days.
Despite the questions in the first four stanzas, they are answered in the last. Great job, making me think....

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think you did a great job with this:D

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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TJ
I really enjoyed this poem! It's weird I just uploaded a piece that was originally a novel bur I got stuck n just made it a short story and this kind of inspires me! Must be fate lol

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the thought process this piece caused. Everyone thinks about like 'oh, if i die in 7 days, i'll want to do this' but as the reader, it causes a reverse; what if others around us were scheduled to die in 7 days? how would we act towards them? which to me seems like a very Jesus-approved way of thinking, because Christians should love God first, then people, then ourselves. i think it's pretty cool that this was then inspired by something different but Christ-related :D yayy.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is a good poem indeed, but I personally do not think it flowed well.
There are many words you could have replaced with other to make it more fresh and more smooth. I like the idea, but it could have been worked out a little more.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 10, 2011
Last Updated on May 10, 2011

Author

 Tasha
Tasha

NC



About
Hey, I'm 18 years old and I love writing. "To know me is to love me" "Every heart has a beat and mine just skips for you" Wanna know more? Message me I love to make new friends. &heart.. more..

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