Cinder-Fellow

Can Cinder-fellow find his true love?

I sit here cleaning,
and watching my life pass me by
week after week, day after day
I'm here, waiting for a breakthrough

Evil has taken over my heart,
no love can enter because of my step dad and stepbrothers;
I once knew love,
I knew love like leaves know trees,
always being there...
I knew it all until my brother took over
and captured my one true love

Until a wise old man came into the castle
and saw me in my drunken misery,
he said

"Why isn't a young man like you going to the ball?"

"Because I am not allowed to go."

After those words I was in a custom made suit
then a carrot turned into a carriage,
and three blind mice turned into horseman
I looked for the man to thank him,
but he was no where to be found
as we were leaving a faint voice called out to me and said:

"Be back at midnight young son"

I said "I will" as the carriage progressed forward...

I walked into the room... everything was in its place...
the music,
the guests,
everything...everything except the one true beauty sitting by herself,
so I walked over to her and said

"Can I have this dance?"

She said yes, and I led her to the floor,
it was as if the earth stood still
as we danced the night away,

She led me to the fountain outside the building
and unmasked me...
I couldn't believe it... it was her!
my first true love here with me
we kissed and it was just as good as the first,
we ran off at midnight back to my room in my castle
so things could remain as magical as the night had been

Author's Note

I'm not sure why I'm changing classics. Thanks for your reviews! :)

Reviews

[DeadToTheWorld]

Many people have tried to flip the coin on many classics....to see the other side of a persons view...it takes skill to do such things especially when the piece of writing is well known....this was a perfect write to have been fliped around...not many people are as good....you did a splendid job...

[Kat]

Good job:) I'm glad he got his lover back in the end:) but great writing keep it up:)

[L. Catherine]

Nice male perspective of Cinderella :)

[Aurora Lynn]

Well I like it when you change classics! You definately do a good job doing so. Good job!
~Aurora

[brenda]

you are really good in changing classics amzing story:)!

[Short.Nerd]

Wonderful:)

[harley]

wow its an amazing twist on an old tale. i love it!

[Fenner]

Very nice, it was a wonderful read! Thank you :)

[Rediscovery]

I love the twist in the classic Disney story.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a great twist and an old tale. Love the details.

[Alicia Hirshey]

this gives me smile lines.