Cinder-Fellow

Can Cinder-fellow find his true love?

I sit here cleaning,
and watching my life pass me by
week after week, day after day
I'm here, waiting for a breakthrough

Evil has taken over my heart,
no love can enter because of my step dad and stepbrothers;
I once knew love,
I knew love like leaves know trees,
always being there...
I knew it all until my brother took over
and captured my one true love

Until a wise old man came into the castle
and saw me in my drunken misery,
he said

"Why isn't a young man like you going to the ball?"

"Because I am not allowed to go."

After those words I was in a custom made suit
then a carrot turned into a carriage,
and three blind mice turned into horseman
I looked for the man to thank him,
but he was no where to be found
as we were leaving a faint voice called out to me and said:

"Be back at midnight young son"

I said "I will" as the carriage progressed forward...

I walked into the room... everything was in its place...
the music,
the guests,
everything...everything except the one true beauty sitting by herself,
so I walked over to her and said

"Can I have this dance?"

She said yes, and I led her to the floor,
it was as if the earth stood still
as we danced the night away,

She led me to the fountain outside the building
and unmasked me...
I couldn't believe it... it was her!
my first true love here with me
we kissed and it was just as good as the first,
we ran off at midnight back to my room in my castle
so things could remain as magical as the night had been

Author's Note

I'm not sure why I'm changing classics. Thanks for your reviews! :)

Reviews

[DeadToTheWorld]

Many people have tried to flip the coin on many classics....to see the other side of a persons view...it takes skill to do such things especially when the piece of writing is well known....this was a perfect write to have been fliped around...not many people are as good....you did a splendid job...

[EMW]

A write of a classic is always intersting. It does take talent to do it as well. This was very well written and very interesting. This was very sweet and I do love how its told more from the guy's pov. I say this a lot but I really mean it. You are very talented when it comes to writing. I love reading your requests but I must apologize for it taking me so long to get to them.

[♥(heatherawesome..]

I love the poem and it was very classy like you could also tried out to play as Cinderella. you might get the part. I love the poem and it was also very wonderful adn I love it. Just keep up with your poems and you will do wonderful. I love the fanticy poem. (I spelled a word wrong I think) I want to watch and just keep watching every Cinderella out there. I love it keep it up.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Nice job flipping and twisting a Disney classic. You did a great job! Clever.

[Liza]

your twist on the classic is delight full

[Sarah Morgan]

Makes me want to watch Cinderella. I don't think it was my favorite out of all of the cartoons, but this piece is very beautifully written and brings such all the images to light and makes it more interesting. Great write!

[TheMizFit]

Good job on changing classics! I loved it. :)

[.......]

This is so wonderful, you are good at this.
I like this one just as much as your other one.

[Matt Shriver]

Great take on the classic. Very well written. Very descriptive and moving. Great write.

[Jazique]

We call him cinda-fella at my house. Nice workf. That was veryf creative. Totally adding it to my library. Well done with the ending and the begining. As the tables were turn with cinderalle being a cinda-fellow. Marvelous job and thats using the old nogen create new and unique writing. Keep up the awesome work because this is the stuff we need.

[Chloe]

I think your attempt on the classics are very well done!