How Could It Be?

How could it be, that I lose my son
To a drug deal gone bad?
How could I not see the signs,
The changes in his attitude?
How could it be?

He use to be a straight A-student,
Then he started slacking off;
I thought all boys his age did that,
But I was wrong

I thought his sudden 'hunger attacks'
Were a part of him growing
And becoming a man,
But I was wrong about that too

How could I be so stupid, and naive?
How did I not realize this?

I'm such a horrible mother!

I hate myself!

I'm the one that drove him to this!

How could I let this happen
To my one and only son?
How did he get addicted
To that disgusting drug
When he was only 16?

Maybe if I were more involved in his life
Instead of wrapped up in my own,
He would still be alive

I just can't comprehend... How could this be....?

Author's Note

This prompt was a mothers regret for her sons death.

Reviews

[Cynthia]

I like it a lot, the pain in this poem, the regrets in this poem, just a lot of emotions. It hurts when a mom lost her son she love, once proud of, but now lost cause of a drug deal. it hurts, but it isn't all his mom's fault, the child need to take responsibility to his actions, what he decided to do. A heart breaking poem.
Nice Written!

[Jake Staffeld]

It's a good picture of the feeling of blame one gives themselves even when they are at no fault. Good job.

[Jibin]

It's such a truth, that haunting our society. And, really it's your excellency to enlightening about the matter. You sketched it very emotionally.
Good and devoted work dear friend....
:)

[Silent Serenity also kn..]

Very riveting stuff here Ta'shandra! Regrets & what ifs' will haunt a mothers nightmares forever! But one thing she will eventually realize is that it was his choice! I have learned throughout life having teenagers myself is you can protect them, be there for them, be involved, love them unconditionally, etc. but the bottom line is their own responsibility! It takes no comfort otherwise but its a harsh reality in this world! Extremely touching poem my poetic friend! You speak for all the parents out there who struggle daily with teenagers!

[Allie :)]

The mistakes of others leave everlasting effects on the people that love him most. This piece was a painful reminder of just how harsh the sting of the aftermath can be.

[∂αʌ<..]

you wrote the whole story in one poem...the pain is featured out thouroughly!
nice...

[Ravyne Hawke]

Such a heartbreaking poem written with raw emotions. I think when any mother loses her son to drugs, she always blames herself.. it is a natural reaction and you penned those feelings so well here. Excellent write!

[Aurora Lynn]

Wow, I can totally feel the heartbreak in this poem. It's terrible how many kids these days get adicted (sp?) at such an early age, often behind the parent's back. You took those emotions and put them into words, which is good. This was a great write, thank you for writing.
~Aurora

[Hello, Goodbye]

Candid notions told in a direct and effective way.. It is certainly the revealing of a reality that many have to face, so by that alone its an interesting perspective piece..