Just the Thought of You

Just the thought of you

Makes me smile from the inside out

Just the thought of you holding me

Makes my whole body tingle

Just the thought of you against me

Makes me want you like a child wants  candy

Just the thought of being around you

Makes my life all the more better

Author's Note

i think make is in here way too much. sorry.

Reviews

[fireblossom]

Like they say on American Idol sometimes...wow that is really good for 16! It is sweet and gentle and well written.

One thing you can consider Ta'shandra...metaphor, simile-comparison, etc.

For example, you say Makes me want you, then you say, more and more. Can you replace more and more with a simile by adding the word like?

I love you like a kid loves the circus...
Makes me want you like a thirsty person wants a drink...

You can even drop the thirsty person part.. like a cool drink of water on a hot day.

See how the hot day might mean the way you feel and the cool drink is how having your love would satisfy you?

These are some more advanced writing techniques that I am sure I've already seen you use in some of your other poems.

Keep up the good work TB :-)

[Sukriti Suki]

sweet and expressive. Good one.

[Coyote Poetry]

A positive and beautiful poem. When we get lucky and find someone to make us feel content. No better time in a person life. I like the emotion of happiness and very good ending. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[LA Lorena]

This is a sweet poem, well expressed feelings, and so tender! The last line is a tad awkward though. I'd be tempted to try to change it up and make it more grammatically correct. (but that's just me, and I'm kind of picky that way ;-) )

[A.D. Wilson]

I like it! Very uplifting. My only change would be the last line. I think "Makes my life so much better" might work well. IDK "More better" just doesn't sound quite right. Really great poem, though.

[dreaming dame]

Makes me dream about a special prince :) Very nice.

[Karina Anderson]

It's still wonderfully executed, and sweet. Enjoyable read. :]

[?]

Nice and sweet, romantic

[compositionc]

Very sweet.

[Alicia Hirshey]

amazing. I love it

[brenda]

i can relate to it too its amazing!!