Overboard

Really random thought.

Out here in the water,

Its too much,

There's only one thing

That can save me

And that thing is you,

I'm overboard

And drowning

Without your love

You're my lifesaver

Pull me up

And save me

You and you're

Beautiful soul;

Don't let another 

Minute go to waste

I'm drowning without

Your love,

And without you

I'm already overboard 

Author's Note

Pretty random, I just started writing and this is the result. Love to know your thoughts!

Reviews

[Phillitup]

Most of my writing is short and spur of the moment. I hardly ever take the time to re-write it or even spend more then five minutes on it. Life isn't long enough and I just compress my meanings and words. A lot of people prefer it that way. It means that we don't have to read forever after we find out the meaning and message. You should be proud of this particular poem. It's beautifully tragic.

[Tasha]

Thank you very much phillitup!! The thought popped into my head and I honestly just started writing. Thank you very much for taking the time to review.

[Ahmad Cox]

Aww Very sweet and beautiful metaphor. I really appreciated this one.

[Tasha]

Thanks. I'm so glad you liked it. :)

[Deron Alexis]

very well done. easy flow to follow. very good concept drowning you know having no control over whether you live until they come to save you well done .

[Tasha]

Thank you for taking the time to review. I would hope they save me.

[Deron Alexis]

lol me 2 XD

[Tasha]

Cool :)

[disheveledApathy]

It sort of describes being in love from afar, you can't help wishing and longing, but they don't know you exist, and you're drowning all the while, wishing they would realize . . . .

[Tasha]

You totally got that.

[disheveledApathy]

Thanks. Sadly enough, I have experience. ;)

[Tasha]

You're welcome. Thanks.

[}Echo{]

I really like this. Most of my writing is just a bunch of thoughts in the spur of the moment. Wonderful write. :)

[Tasha]

Thank you very much.

[}Echo{]

:)

[Tasha]

:)

[Stammers]

I like the linear form of this. Simulates an inescapable feeling of being dragged downwards.

Spur of the moment is always therapeutic. If you do revise, perhaps you could work some more imagery in.

Grammar - 'You and you're' is 'You and *your*'

Nice, spontaneous write.

[Tasha]

Thank you very much Haz, I appreciate your review. Thanks for correcting my grammer as well.

[misha]

This was a nice poem! Great job.

[Tasha]

Thank you!

[KeeD]

This is kind of the story of my life,Its like hanging on the edge of a cliff and people pass by, they look and stare and talk about it, but no one really gets it, no one really reaches out and grabs me and shakes me up and tells me what the f%CK! sometimes we just need that one person to show us they care and to stick around so we don't go overboard again :) .. great write, i liked it a lot.

[Tasha]

Thank you very much, I greatly appreciate your review it means a lot to me. I hope you don't ever go overboard again Keegan. Thanks again!