No Idea

Wrote this while being bored

you don't understand

what you do to me

you have no idea

how you make me feel,

if you look beyond looks

you will finally see me;

you don't understand it

you don't know what

to do

but you're so clueless

you have no idea

don't you notice

when you call my name

I smile as my

heart skips a beat

when you talk

I just stare and listen

you don't even see me

standing here,

you have no idea,

no idea what

you do to me,

what you do to me

Author's Note

I guess it could be read as a song, what do you think?

Reviews

[Red]

Hmmm, this feels very deep; I can feel the pain and stuggle from the tone of voice that this is written in and is very fitting. Although, the flow of the poem feels slightly choppy due to all of the indentations. Other than that, I strongly feel that this is a powerful poem regaurding those who simply do not see all the layers of a person, but only their surface. Nicly done
-Red

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I'm really liking it. Its nothing but pure emotion. No gimmicks.
I'd like to hear it as a punk song. It would be very simple but
loaded with amazing passion. Awesome work. The power lies
in your candid speech. That only comes from the heart.

[Tasha]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. With school and work its hard to sit down and write like I use to. Thanks so much again for the review!

[Kenneth The Poet]

It could. I recommend spacing the piece into stanza. It would read much better.

That's just me. I like the piece for its content and simplicity.

[Tasha]

Thanks so much for the review Kenneth.

[Crimson_Catastrophe]

I kinda agree with the commenter below me with the breaking up of the stanzas.
Buti liked the content.
It had emotion, and it flowed (to me) kind of like a song, in a way.
Do you write music?

[Tasha]

Thanks!!
I agree I don't know how to fix it.
I try but its not very good.
Thank you so much for the review.

[Crimson_Catastrophe]

Well, maybe as a specific example, I'd say that after "you finally see me;"
Instead put a dash instead of a semicolon, and then add a space.
Jmo.
And you're welcome!

[Tasha]

Thank you,
I am going to do that!

[Crimson_Catastrophe]

Anytime.

[Tasha]

:)

[That_Girl]

I'm personally not a fan of a long poem with no breaks usually. Some work and some doń. I like the content but not the structure.

[Tasha]

Thanks for the review, I don't like them either I get distracted from them. I couldn't figure out where to break.

[That_Girl]

You're welcome. It will come to you. :)

[Tasha]

I hope so. :)