Dark Side

An angel that cant fined were she fits in so she finds her self on Earth and falling in love with a human.

Chapter 1

Ever felt like your heart feels like ice cold and hurts like a heart attack? Some angels might call it adrenaline, I call it fear. Fear of losing my bright side and letting my dark side take over, fear of losing the one thing I love the most my heart “Ariel”

Ariel is my sister we are orphans, so life in Gardenia is hard with no help from parents. We had to learn to fly all by ourselves the other angels didn’t care about us, you see angels are selfish but not us. There are three types of angels the ones that can do magic.

Magic Angles are let’s say pure and good. They usually wear gold or light color clothes to show that they only do well. We have a school that teaches new learners about magic. It’s the wand class and crafting class.

The other type of angels are the Dark Angels ones, which are good angels some of them but they work on dark magic and they aim to grow stronger than other angels. Their dark side sometimes takes over control of their bright side and that destroys them and makes them evil so the other angels must kill them.

And me I don’t even know what I am I feel like I don’t belong in this place. Seeing the humans from above makes me envy every single girl that has a normal life. People call me Unsed which means that I haven’t become a “type” of an angel yet. My parents were dark ones but my heart has a spark of magic. I can’t be both so I’m none. There is a way to go to earth but you will be called fallen angel which means that you can’t go back to gardenia anymore. This is the rules also you can’t fall in love with a human because humans can’t know about us if you do you will die as a punishment. Doesn’t sound to me like a fairytale like humans think.

At the end I see Gardenia and I feel like to live here, it’s the best thing about being an angel except that I can fly and do magic also some powerful angels that born strong have some special power that we don't even know them all each year new born angels born with new powers. I don't have any powers, that's the thing  feel like a loser, everybody makes fun of me as the Unsed powerless angel all except one my beloved sister.

  Every day I climb on a cloud near Gardenia and see a boy down to earth, I've been watching him for years he reminds me of what I wish I could be popular,  beautiful,  having everything and most important everybody loves him. Though he is sad lately he lost his mother and his girlfriend broke his heart. If I ever go to earth which I won't I would like to meet him. my sister asked my why don't I go but I can't leave Ariel behind she doesn't have anybody, also I'm scared to go... what if they don't like me, or what if I fall in love and they would kill me?

I can't go to school anymore, Flora and Sanndy make fun of me all the time and make me fell uncomfortable  with who I am and what I'm becoming. They say that I will end up alone and that Ariel will leave me one day though she just smiles and says that she loves me. I was a mother, father and sister to her like nobody was for me and most important I'm here for her so is she.

 

                 Chapter 2

So I'll ask again, ever felt like your heart feels like ice cold and hurts like a heart attack? Ariel died yesterday... she let her dark side take over her bright and started hurting people that hurt me so the Angel queen had to execute her. I don't know what to do without her, I'm nothing to this world so I'm thinking of going down to earth, she would want me to go so I’ll go for her.

I closed my easy, opened my wings, went to the highest cloud and just jumped down. I could feel the air touching my cheeks, I felt free for once and the best thing I wasn’t thinking about Gardenia and what  left behind except Ariel. A smile came up and the smile became laughter for no reason just feeling free. Earth seemed bigger and bigger as close as I was getting, so I flew on top of a big building. Thank the Angel queen that let us look at the earth so now I know some things.

I finally landed on a skyscraper…

from the minute is stepped on earth I wings disappeared, I had to fine clothes and start a new life with no angel drama. to be honest, I was looking forward to finding the boy that I've been looking for him for years and go to the same school. I was wondering if angel powers could work on Earth but I couldn't find out because I had no powers.

I walked down the stairs of the skyscraper and started walking, people were different than I thought the were from the sky. more mature and inspired, more interesting and a lot of other things suck us the smell of their food. at Gardenia, we could eat only fruits and vegetables, not the poor animals. I guess I don't really know Earth-like I thought so. I started walking on a street with tall buildings, it looked a little dark and felt cold. I rubbed my hand on my legs to warm up a little when suddenly a boy hit me accidently while he was trying to pass me. I hit the wall on a building, he turned around and said how sorry he was I couldn't really see his face from the darkness he smiled and left running. his smile reminded me of that boy I was trying to find. "he couldn't be him" I said to myself...

I opened my wings and flew up high so nobody would see me and tried to follow the bay so I can meet him again. His smile made the cold street warmer and lighter. He stopped at a lamp and waited while he kept on looking at his watch like he was waiting for someone. I flew onto a building near him to see. The boy looked at the starts in a worried face, I couldn't believe my eyes it was the boy I was searching for so I went down the building and disappeared my wings. He looked different than the last time I saw him. Instead, he made me feel cold, a strange man came closer to him and gave him a small plastic bag that had something like a powder.

He just left without looking back, I followed him and tried to look at his face... He looked guilty, or running from something that he couldn't be solved. He suddenly entered a forest that I couldn't follow by flying so I left or else he would see me.

 

I was too tyred to fly so I started walking and spending over two hours to find a lace to lay and relax for the night but eventually, I got lost so I when to a cemetery and found my comfort there.

 

It finally came the day and I was on my way to go back to the city when I saw him coming through the cemetery with the same guilt on his face and looking at the ground. In Gardenia if someone was looking at the ground that meant that they couldn’t have the power to look anyone in the eyes, drowned in guilt and sadness. That’s what he reminded me and I couldn’t let him suffer.  I pulled m self together and went to talk to him.

“Hey I think I am lost could you help me, please? I asked to start the conversation.

 He looked at my smile and replied back with an incessant smile, “I’ll be glad to help you”

“I’m new to this city and I took a walk and got lost.”

 

He looked so perfect but I knew under that fake smile he was sad or maybe my smile gave him a reason not to think negative and about sadness for a while.

“My name is…”

I would finally know his name after all these years watching him and caring I couldn’t believe what was happening, I felt happy for once.

“My name is Theodore, what’s yours?”

Reviews

[Trivn]

There are some good ideas here, the writing is a bit simple though. You might want to consider turning this whole thing into a single chapter if you plan to continue it.
Consider reading it out-load to find the parts that don't work right. Also, put it into a word editor like MS word or openoffice to find the typos and simple grammar errors.
Its a good start! Good luck with your writing!

[Danai]

The story is not yet finished i will update it soon with more of the story
thank you though for your good words if you reallly liked the story you will read more soon

[Trivn]

I'm looking forward to it!

[JMKane117]

There's potential here for an intriguing story. You may want to separate some of the thoughts so it flows better. I really like the idea of angels and their hierarchy. Great work. Keep it up!

[Danai]

Thank you for the help