Him

I have pushed away everyone. I rejected people who wanted nothing but to give me love. I wanted no one. My heart hadn't healed in so long that I thought I would be broken forever.
One day, I was miserable as always, when this guy came along with his black curly hair and dark brown eyes that held secrets and hidden poetry inside of them. He told me my smile is contagious and how much he loves my hair in the sun. He also told me that he got me.Unfortunately, he didn't.
I thought I should give it a try. An adventurous guy with a twisted mind and an interesting personality, why not? Maybe he will be the plot twist I am waiting for. Maybe he will set my soul on fire. Maybe we are different as cheese and chalk, but love can work it out for us. That is what I thought.
I let him in. He made me forget myself. He made me do things I didn't do. I had limits. However, when it came to him, I had none.
He told me I was beautiful poetry and he looked at my eyes as if they carried the whole universe within. He touched my mind and my heart before he touched my skin. He made me believe the world was not that bad after all. He made me wanna stay in this world a little longer, because he was the world to me.
Again, just like everyone does, he vanished. He promised me he wouldn't, but what do promises mean in this world? They are bullshit. I felt dumb; I felt hopeless. I, the girl who started to love the world, felt dead again. As if I was walking in a circle and I'm right back at the starting point, more broken that ever. My emotions were all over the place.
I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep either. Smiling was the hardest thing to do. It was like when you sit for a long time, then you decide to stand up and it feels so hard to do so. All the mad voices and insecurities got back in my head. This time louder than they had ever been. I was numb. I was in need of help. I didn't ask for it though. Somehow I got so addicted to that boy that the pain he caused became so sweet. No. Bitter sweet, just like him.
My beautiful trauma. My perfect disaster. Poison. Bitter sweet. Him.