Broken Promises

To many hearts I broke

I remember that promises meant so much to me.I remember all the promises people made for me, and the ones I made too.I never kept one, not a single promise I was able to keep.
So it all started with breaking promises.Then I started breaking other things too. Whatever that comes in my way.I started breaking hearts, and in a very weird unpleasant way, I enjoyed it.Something about seeing someone ache because of me was so satisfying.
So at first I broke one heart, then two, then three, then more than you can ever count.I never actually noticed it, because I always thought I was the victim, or somehow I always managed to give myself very good reasons for the s**t I do.And one day, someone that I used, just like everyone else I did use, told me how selfish and toxic I am in words that I can never forget.I was angry and I wanted to cry and shout and tell him how much I hate him. But then it all occured to me.I am selfish.I am toxic.I never loved anyone.Nobody ever touched me or changed something about me, because I never loved someone enough to change.
I just loved the way those people cared for me.I broke a million hearts just for fun, and I loved it because it made me feel good about myself.I don't know what about it thay makes it enjoyable, maybe the fact that it makes me feel less empty.
I realized I'll always be this empty and that I deserve it.So now I knew the truth about me, but I didn't stop, I never wanted to.I've never met a person that I didn't disappoint.And I thought I'd rather be a disappointment than something that is invisible.

Reviews

[pia]

This was a really nice write. Sometimes we place ourselves in a victims position when we really are the cause ourselves. This was a nice insight into self realization of mistakes we as people make and how our actions affect others.
(Critique) apart from this having a really nice concept. I suggest you work on some of your sentence construction " I never kept one, not a single promise I was able to keep" the sentence becomes redundant. Just avoid that. Also avoid run on sentences. And i am sure with practice you can become even better. I loved thisss !!

[She murdered herself wi..]

What I'm getting from this is that you love the attention, the feeling of being loved makes you feel good about yourself no matter who is loving you. You don't feel sick to your stomach or guilty because you never loved any of them or genuinely cared. I get that you don't want to stop because I do the same thing. I'm hungry for power over someone's emotions. I'm so focused on how they feel that I don't focus on mine. It's like a distraction from your pain.

[Psychotic Lily]

This actually a really good poem. i could just feel the sorrow, the frustration, and the regret of the narrator.

[barleygirl]

Not sure if these are true thoughts, but the way this is told, it sure sounds like a firsthand experience. I believe this is what happens many times in life & we all wonder what that person who hurts must be thinking. I also hurt a lot of people, but I wasn't having fun. It's a sinister twist to get to the part of your piece where the narrator explains how this has been fun.

Have you noticed that almost every sentence needs a space before the sentence begins? (Spaces between sentences, I mean) . . .

[A.K. Rohner]

Very personal and sweet. Right from the heart, just as all writing should be.

[rowan.taylorrr]

this is absolutely heartbreaking! you really captured emotions that many can not capture, well done

[CMC]

We try to escape a lot from a cold reality in which not many people see us. As humans, we don't want to be empty, and we want people to care about us...but sometimes we want to hurt people in the ways that we thought we've been hurt. It may fill us with some kind of satisfaction at first, but when we look into the mirror and straight into our eyes, everything is gone...we no longer have substance. We are empty because we gave the hate, pain, and grief inside to the hearts that we broke. I think I understand what you've felt.

[Decidious wind]

This sounds like an excerpt from a psychopath's journal. Wonderful job! Very believable

[The earth (Titan maphah..]

Well I think you are bragging there bruh... but actually that is well written, there are quite many errors

[Lilia]

I love this so much, but you have a few punctuation errors. Please keep writing, I really like it. Just fix the punctuation errors

[Nora]

Nice piece.... but how selfish this character. ! It made me feel angry for honest!