Relationship Flat-Line

A Relationship that is crumbling with No chance of avoiding disaster!

Sapping, Draining, My patience waning,
Testing, Taxing, Anger I'm masking,
Swearing, Frustration, Intentional agitation,
You have me at my boiling point...

Taunting, Tempting, Never relenting,
Your vinegar charm, Rudely hinting,
Risking, Ranting, Beyond retraction,
Danger approaching, My violent reaction...

Enticing fate, Provoking my Hate,
Tolerance unnerving, Desperately deserving,
Your voice so grating, My sanity abating,
No longer caring and losing control...

Tongue of razors, Your worthless favors,
Careless, Critical, Bitter, Cynical,
Acidic, Pathetic, Mentally regret it,
My vicious reaction, To this fatal attraction...

We both crack, No turning back,
Blood splatters, Nothing else matters,
You, Me, Will cease to Be,
In darkness we sleep, For eternity...

Damon Tarloth

Author's Note

Let me know if you like it! or Hate it! Either way...

Reviews

[1Disawsum]

Great flow in this poem!!! I think the third stanza first line could be made slightly softer and more gentle like the other stanzas. I think it could flow on its own, but not in the same rhythm as the other lines. I can't put my tongue on the word, but I just LOVE the last line of the fourth stanza! It was a great poem, a nice change from others :) very dark and original, keep it up! Hope to read more of your poems later.

[Damon Tarloth]

As I will now return the favor and read something of yours and write a review. :) Thank you very much for reading and giving a review that has some substance, by saying not only what you liked, but also what part you feel could be improved upon. Most people say "I liked it" and that doesn't help me improve at all, as they rarely say what part or what specifically they found enjoyable.