ASHLEY

"You are a mark to many,

And a scar to none.

You are a being not to be noticed,

But stalked through and through;

You are to be read and thought of,

Not fathom into a fairy tale.

You are a game of metaphor,

Yet a being of realism."

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CHAPTER 3

"According to the agreement, you are bound to be engaged to the son of Mr. And Mrs. Matthews for a year."

"B...but I...I don't want to...." I say, my voice being a mere whisper.

"You have no choice but to listen to our orders, dear DAUGHTER." Axel said with hatred clear in his voice.

"B.....but I...." I could not complete my sentence because Rebecca had already grabbed me by my hair and thrown me over to the nearest wall.

"You listen to what we say and obey our orders, b***h!" She and Axel raise their hands to hit me and I do the only thing I am good at - I cover my face with my hands. It comes like a reflex to me, each time anyone comes to hit me I cover my face because of my fears.

I don't cry because I have learnt it the hard way; if I cry it shows weakness and then they would beat me up more.

They continue their beatings even after listening to my ear piercing screams and whimpers. They are those heartless monsters who have been taught that abuse is the way to make someone obey your orders.

After about more twenty minutes of beatings, Rebecca   says, "Prepare the dinner and go to your room. This Saturday you will be getting engaged and then you will move into their house. No questions asked! Do you understand?"

I was too afraid to speak so I just nod my head and limp into the kitchen to make dinner for my oh-so-lovely family. I hope, you note the sarcasm dripping in my voice, as sweet as honey.

Today's events flood my mind as I get ready to sleep, after having attended to those bruises and scars that I just received. But I know sleep will not come easily to me today. So, I do the only logical thing that comes to my mind, I write. I haven't written in my diary since days; actually it's been weeks 2 weeks and 4 days to be accurate. The only times I write in my diary is when I want to release the immense pain that has been accumulating in my heart.

Over the years, I have learnt to numb myself to every pain I feel, but sometimes limits can be crossed and I reach my breaking point. So, I get up and bring out my diary that has been hiding behind the full-length mirror of my room.

I open the diary and flip through the pages, feeling the relief flood through me as I see those handwritten words that brought out my pain and gave me a sense of pleasure. And so I write.

Dear Diary,

How's it going? I know it's been days since I wrote, but what can I say, Life's not given me a chance. Do you remember how I once I mentioned about humans and their fucked up emotions and ways of handling circumstances. Yeah, I know it's been long since I spoke about my emotions but let's speak about humans today, people in general.

We humans are bundles of puzzles in one body - too many secrets, stories & mysteries altogether. We hide because we are afraid of the vulnerability the truth will bring. It can damage the hope that lies provide us with and hope is all we are hungry for, at least now.

We are obsessed with the unknown and the mysterious, trying to bend the truth even though it won't change anyway. We cannot accept it and hence we try to convince everybody, including ourselves, that the truth isn't true; it's a lie.

Trust me or not but we are living a life where we constantly try to hide our story because why not, it's trending!

We hurt everybody immensely and in that race everyone comes out dirty and scathed, even ourselves. We don't know every truth and maybe we don't want to. It's not because we are not capable of handling it or just because we don't care; but it is because the lies have already ruined enough of us and even though the truth should make it better, I am afraid it won't!

It will cause many more to fall and thus will begin an ending of the human emotions, the domino effect will start hitting one by one, blocks by blocks, until everything is gone.

Dear diary, you have known that I have been lingering so long in this darkness, in debt from the burden of the promises never kept. This world is not the place for my angels to play, for my happiness to be showcased and for my loved to be showered upon. Even if I commit suicide people will remember the girl who jumps off the cliff; but they will surely forget who dragged her to that edge!

Yours only,

Ash.

And as I keep my pen down, I let relief take over my heart. With tears of pain and hurt, my pillow get soaked, eyes become red and puffy. Now with a light heart, my eyes become heavy and I drift off into a slumber full of nightmares of the people who seems so close yet so far.

I'm woken up as I feel the cool breeze coming inside the window. I woke up to the window and look outside, up towards the sky and I catch glimpses of the rising sun, pulling the colors out of the sky creating a somber palette of everything I wish I could be. I let the weightlessness, of this time and seen a head of me, free me. Drifting in slow motion, I embrace these beautiful seconds, because I know they won't last long.

Finally reality strikes me with such I force, that I could feel my heart shattering into a million pieces. Tomorrow is the day of my engagement with Chase. I don't know whether to be happy or sad because he has been my crush since he stepped inside the school but he hates me for some unknown reason and now with a much more burning passion, since he is being engaged to me.

I look at the time to see that it is only 5:45 in the morning. So, I crawl back into my mattress and lay down. As I lay there broken, from all the events of yesterday and before, remembering how I have let myself fall; how I have tried to recreate the feeling of freedom once again. But all I am left with is nothing, every time.

And so I had vowed to never climb so high because the landing seemed much worse than the fall. And with this I fall asleep again this time, only to be woken up by Shakira.

I get up, walk into the bathroom, do my daily routine and come out to dress up in my 'clothes for the day', in Rebecca's words. I dress up, apply make up to hide yesterday's bruises that were now clearly visible; especially the one on my left cheek where Axel hit me with his shoe.

I get down and make breakfast for my family and grab a granola bar, stealthily, because I am hungry and who knows when I will get to eat again. These people, that call themselves my family, have starved me to death and the only times I get food is the day they feel its utterly important or the times when I steal it.

I grab my backpack and walk towards Jade's car and stand beside it. After sometime, I feel a presence beside me and look over at Jade who is already staring at me intensely with a malicious smirk playing over at his lips. I can't help but feel paranoid about what I am going to have to face today after dinner, since today is the last day I will be staying with my family.

He sits on the driver's seat and starts the engine while I slip into the passenger's seat and tie the seatbelt. We drive off to school and I can't help but feel a little bit of low inside, as if something bad was going to happen today. He parks the car at his usual parking spot and I get down and dash inside the school to avoid talking to anyone.

I fumble to open my locker as I try to look around for anyone, to avoid confrontations, while at the same time opening my locker. After a little difficulty I take out my books, slam the locker door shut and head towards my first period.

I am in no mood to talk to anyone, especially Chase and his group since they have been glaring at me since Wednesday. I guess, he knows about the engagement too!

The day passes by fairly well, because I have neither seen Aliana nor Chase. Soon, Chemistry is over and its lunchtime. I get up, pack my bag, and head out of the already empty classroom to see that hallways are barely occupied. Guess, everyone's too hungry nowadays. Or is it just me who isn't normal?

I keep my books in the locker and grab the ones for the next lecture and head towards the cafeteria. On my way, I feel someone following me; I turn around but there isn't anyone behind me, the hallway is completely empty. I start walking again only to hear light footsteps behind me. I turn around again, this time to see a shadow lurking behind the lockers near the janitor's closet.

This time I am terrified. It's unusual for someone to just be lurking around, especially in the hallways during lunch time.

"W...Who i....is it?" I ask, fear evident in my voice.

And soon I have a face and name for the shadow. Chase comes out from behind the lockers, and I am shocked to see him, to say the least.

"I want to talk to you. Follow me." Listening to his authoritative tone, I could just nod my head and follow him without asking any further questions. We keep walking for a minute and two and I realize that he is taking me to the old, abandoned building of our school.

He grasps my wrists and pulls me inside one of the empty classrooms. The school had been abandoned for the last six years. A cool wind is blowing around us, sending chills down my spine, the scary kind of chills.

"I know all of this has something to do with Jade." He said.

And now I was confused. What was he talking about? And how does jade have anything to do with it? These people seriously confused me. Was he talking about our fake engagement? I know Jade and Chase's history with each other isn't anything good.

But how could Jade have anything to do with the engagement?

Might have been the confused expression on my face that made him to explain me further, "I know it was Jade who gave the stupid idea of our engagement. I just want you tell him," he grabs my cheeks with his hand and I wince in pain. He seems to look taken aback when my face morphs into an expression of pain.

He removes his hand from my face but his expression remains stoic.

"Just tell Jade that he is not going to get to me now. I am in no mood for his tantrums. Also warn him that that if he tries anything on me or on my friends or family, again, he is a dead man walking." With this he turned around and left me in the dark, empty classroom all alone to ponder over my feelings and thoughts.

The way he said the word 'again' with so much disgust and hatred, made me cringe back in fear. Now, standing in this empty classroom didn't seem as scary as looking into his eyes and listening to his warnings for Jade. Maybe, this fake engagement was going to f**k up my oh-so-lovely life.

Oh Heavens! What have I gotten myself into?

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"What a shame!

That girl who once believed in fairy tales and magic had to be struck with reality with demons in her mind and the fear of never being loved."