I'm Sorry Mom (Poem)

Last writing I will be submitting for a while, I figured I should write a tribute to my mother.

I'm sorry mom,

For all the times I went against what was right.

You told me,

"When someone talks, boy, you look them in the eye."

I'm sorry,

You expected something great from my life.

But the drugs quickly dimmed

Who you've always thought was bright.

You saw me,

Go through s**t you could hardly understand.

You screamed out.

Could you see remnants of my old man?

I'm sorry,

The path I chose was not part of the plan.

But you kept up with support,

And always lent a helping hand.

I would starve.

I left home at sixteen, living on my own.

Then I'd call,

"Hey mom, think you could bring me just a loaf?"

She'd show up,

A car-load full of groceries, soap for laundry loads.

Then I'd wonder to myself,

"Why the f**k did I leave home?"

Not much changed,

I can't seem to keep a grip on success.

Addiction beat,

Though I can't say that I'm better than the rest.

I got my girl...

Am I a good dad, come on, let's be honest.

Mom, I need a true answer...

Mom, how can I fix this?

Author's Note

Last writing I will be submitting for a while, I figured I should write a tribute to my mother.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Damien,

It is clear that this is a heart-felt poem. Yes, how can this be fixed? I feel the pain. The hard truth is that one can only go forward. One can't go back and fix things. The past is the past, and that is time that was lost. Now going forward is a very good thing. It seems you have good support from those around you. You are loved. There is nothing more powerful than this.

This was a nice poem. Passionate. Longing. Even hopeful that in going forward things can be improved, and indeed they can. The road can be rough, but you've already walked a rough road, and I actually think you are now on a somewhat easier road. Stay on it. Don't get lost, my friend.

Give your mom a hug from me. She seems a most deserving woman.

Very best regards,

Rick

[Damien Davison]

Thank you for such a great review.
Indeed, this is the easier path, much easier. Still in the process of letting go of a few things, but effort and time seem to be making a difference.
She is a great woman, she's been through a lot as well. A hug she will receive! Thanks again for your words. Take care.

[New Dawn]

Mothers find it impossible to turn their backs on even the most difficult or troubled of children - it is a mothers instinct to nurture and support her children no matter what - of course she turned up with food when you were hungry - she is your mother - this is what she would tell you. And despite what you may have put her through I bet she's incredibly proud of you for beating your addiction - I know cos i'm a mother too.

[Damien Davison]

Though she is proud of me, the trust isn't there in the fact I will remain on this paved road. I speed, then before I know it I drive straight in to gravel, losing my grip. The trust will grow in time. Thank you for the review, thank you for reading!

[Bound In Red]

This is wonderful, and your mother is the kindest and caring people I've ever heard of. Your very lucky to have her in your life and glad to see that you are getting better. But all in all, this is a wonderful write.

[Damien Davison]

I really appreciate that. He's had her moments, lol, but who hasn't. I am lucky to have her. Thank you for reviewing!

[Bound In Red]

Welcome. :)

[Tex]

loved this... let me get this out of the way so i can be really positive... in this line:

She'd show up,

you change the audience that you are speaking to. In the rest of the poem you are speaking to her directly then here you shift to taking to us about her. I think the line would be consistent with the rest of the poem if you made the line continue in the vein of talking to her:

You'd show up,

But as you like, this is yours, and it is a wonderful tribute. It reads honest and true. It feels authentic. I can feel the yearning for a repaired relationship with "her" (not clear if mom or girl friend or wife but that just means we get to read it the way it means more to us) in your last stanza. that stanza is a stand out for me, but I hesitate to point it out because I don't want to take any attention away from the rest of this remarkable write.

Well done. I look forward to reading more of your work. This was deep. I loved it.

[Damien Davison]

I thank you for taking the time to review this poem. In the last stanza if by "her", you mean when I say "I got my girl..." , then the line below was suppose to explain that it was my daughter. Thanks again!

[Damien Davison]

Also the She'd show up, that stanza I was thinking to myself. I suppose it wasn't clear, heh.

[Tex]

Ah, that makes sense then, the general rule (i think) is that a stanza should stick to one frame of reference. However I don't obey that rule as can be seen in my piece "Don't Leave" and I think mixing it up can be used to great affect.

Loved this piece...

[Damien Davison]

Thanks again!

[Claire Twinn]

It's a lovely poem and tribute to your mom, the car load of groceries says everything about how she cares for and loves you. It sounds like you have come a long way by yourself and with her support.
It's not clear what you need to fix though. Very few of us are better than the rest, perhaps its time to start being proud of who you are?

[Damien Davison]

The fix this part is how my baby's mother and I split up, and how we keep trying to work it out but it always ends up a mess... Kind of a personal message to her, but we have since started working out our relationship problems. Things are going great! Thanks for reviewing!

[KarinaT]

Being a mother I can tell you that I'd rather tear my own skin off than see my daughter suffer and there is nothing ever that could make me stop loving and protecting her. Your mum is the same and that you have acknowledged what she has done to be there for you will mean more than water in the desert. Where ever you are spending the next few weeks, I hope it brings you closer to healing and departing from the place of pain and guilt that haunts you. You'll be in my thoughts.

[Damien Davison]

I thank you for the support. She was there when I needed her, for sure. I'm pretty much good now, still struggling with temptations with addiction but have remained off of hard drugs and whatnot... I appreciate the sentiment!

[KarinaT]

I'm so glad to hear that. Your mum must be relieved and proud :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem for your mother. A mother love is forever. I like the question at the end. Being a good parent is hard work. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Damien Davison]

I thank you for taking the time to read it! It is hard work, especially when your not around as much as youd like anymore heh... Thanks again!

[Zoelouise]

This is a beautiful tribute to your mother and written well. I'm sure it will relate to a lot of people

[Damien Davison]

Thank you very much!

[Richard Man]

Brave man. Never leave things said that can't be unsaid. Never leave a situation unresolved. In your head, this poem is the start ... let your heart and soul and body catch up.
It takes a real person to say sorry, to ask for help and to smile at s**t and then walk away. That was then and now is now. Good luck

[Damien Davison]

Thank you, truly. The healing seems to take longer than I thought. Though I always (addicts always) want quick fixes/solutions... I appreciate the support!

[Richard Man]

I was addicted to nicotine for 40+ years. Just because it is/was more socially acceptable does not make it any easier. Read my poem "Giving up".
I did loads of stuff in my youth.... I was a child of the sixties ... but ... whew ... I never got hooked, habituated, drawn into the dark. Big up respect. Love to you, your kid, your mum and to the future.
I've just lit the stove in the music/writing room as the winter is coming home for Christmas.