I Am You. (Writing)

A sharp breath in my ear.

I look to the left.

Retreating out of the corner of my eye was its shadow.

I control my hearts rapid beat.

Nothing new; ignore it.

It was just in my head.

It smiles from within.

I know you can feel me, Damien.

I know you're barely keeping control.

I know you want to drown; 

Your lungs filling with Darkness.

You want me to take over.

Admit it.

No,

You can't manipulate me back in to the circle.

We're finished.

I don't want this anymore.

Too many people get hurt;

Too many people worry.

Now, now...

It's not a choice.

You can hide in prescription drugs,

But I'll always find you.

I am you.

Reviews

[Valette]

Very powerful poem. I loved how the dialogue changed visually between two aspect of self, the part in control being showed as weaker then the one wanting control by using bold font for the latter.
The ending is as chilling as it is powerful.
Great Work!

[Damien Davison]

Thank a lot, I appreciate the reviews as always!

[Jodie Ng]

I love how you included yourself directly in this! It feels like an internal conversation almost but it's ...wow. just wow!

[Damien Davison]

Thank again for another great review!

[mandy]

very perceptive, damien. and knowledge is power. you have the power to stay out of that circle. good write

[Damien Davison]

Thank you!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Excellent piece of work Damien. It flows with such ease and has such an exprerssive blunt edge to it in the starkness of the struggle.

[Damien Davison]

Thank you for reading my writing, I actually work on the ease/flow of reading for these rhymeless pieces quite a bit, once you get going though...

[Mia]

I thought I'd pop by and see what you're all about. This is insane. I got goose bumps. So dark, surprisingly not disturbing. This is so many people's reality...that's what’s disturbing. Damien (love that name) this is a great poem. Scary, sad and wonderfully written. I love how the person in the mind, the one trying to gain control, words are bold (as in the font)...it works well.

[Damien Davison]

I really appreciate you coming to check out my writing. It is a lot of peoples reality... On different levels no doubt. Thank you.

[Geraldine]

Oooh.. Very dark. Intense. Sometimes the worst enemy that we could face is ourselves. Well-penned.

[Damien Davison]

It can definitely be intense, everyone has their darkness. Some more tempting and manifested than others. Thank you.

[Kiari Sabon]

Reminds me of my nightmares... all together a very nice write I enjoyed reading it

[Damien Davison]

Thank you.

[Circe]

wow.. this is dark and disturbed... I like the revelation at the ending... what is the circle and why do people have to get hurt? those parts were a little mysterious.... intriguing the horrors that we harbour inside...

[Damien Davison]

The circle is my continuation down in to darkness and the people hurt are the ones close to me as they watch my Darkness take over. Or to them I just enter psychosis and do stupid things lol. If only they could be inside my mind for just 5 minutes... Anyways, ha, thanks for the review.