Masochist's Dream

something i wrote for school

So many a night i scream
To wish away this midsummer dream
That plays repeatedly in my minds eye
And yet it is sweet as any pie
But more painful than bullet wounds
So sweetly as siren croons
It lures me in forevermore
Becoming my daily chore

In which i am resigned
And yet i still resist
Because my mind always assists
So, i create a world of my design
Inside my mind

Author's Note

its something my teacher said was weak wat do u think?

Reviews

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

it's ok...the rhyme scheme was a bit off. and but u changed it a bit so it wasnt very consistent. the meaning was pretty good, i have to say. and the message came across pretty clear. one way you could maybe improve this is to break it up into stanzas where the rhyme scheme changes. it'll be better that way.

[seal]

Great poem!

[Dupree]

I think it's good but your ryhme scheme is off a bit. but you should be able to fix that.