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This chapter deals with Sebastian making peace and embracing that which he cannot change, and accpting the fact that he has gay parents.

Chapter 6

Paperface

I just woke up about 5 minutes ago and there was no way I'm going back to sleep. It felt so real, Sebastian was evil, he was more worse than I had expected him to be, it too me some time to gather myself because his actions left me startled, shocked, and unsure if I wanted to continue writing 400 Rome. I was nonetheless also excited that I simply had to record what just happened. I write down any amazing dreams I had, but since this one was a lucid dream, I was happy it wasn't real. It however felt so real, I could feel the pain and all the emotion coming from my characters.



I got up, and was walking down a long hallway in my new found home; it hasn't sunk in to that point where I'm completely comfortable with my two gay fathers. But it was better than the orphanage. However, to come to point,' I was trying to quickly get to the bathroom before
Ignatius saw me. I didn't want to be disturbed. I wasn't myself, and these people showed me they really cared about me, to that the confusion overwhelmed me because I was unaccustomed to being treated this way, with so much care and appreciation.

But , last night I was super tired around 7:00pm and thought I'd go to bed a whole lot earlier than usual. In fact I think I slept longer than I had predicted. Around 1:00am I woke up from these horrific images of Sebastian Ross.



The dream was no ordinary and regular non-lucid dream. It was the personification of Sebastian Ross's hatred and demons. I had dreamed Sebastian Ross and Paperface was walking in a mall, smoking a cigar, while it was raining. Then he went outside the mall and his family of serial killer/ psychopaths along with Paperface was outside all happy to see one another. And inside the dream, Sebastian says to me: 'I'm coming for you.'

Then I woke up. It was an odd dream, though not lucid, so I just thought about it for a bit, it kept me awake for quite some time and
then I went back to sleep.
About an hour later, oddly enough, I was dreaming that I'm yet again in Sebastian Ross's presence but this time in front of a mansion...though a red pipe held Sebastian in his hand. In the dream, I was walking to the front door of the huge mansion ready to go inside, when a thought enters my mind...
"This is just like that dream I had earlier tonight. Wait a minute... Am I dreaming? I can't believe this...I am." The realisation was...indescribable. I knew that I was literally
Inside my own dream with Sebastian Ross; the same that I had encountered with Paperface....yet it was luckily just a dream. And it didn't fade away. Not only that, but everything in the
dream sort of shifted. Everything became
more...realistic, more three dimensional, more like...well, real life. Not foggy and disconnected like in a regular dream. I remember being in utter awe that I was literally on the verge of going inside this old mansion...that was itself inside my mind...and that despite
looking completely real, it was however not a creation of my own mind, but that of Sebastian Ross.



He was scary, in fact he was so scary, that I soon found myself on the rooftop with my life in his hands, and I feared for my life. I saw Paperface begging him to spare me, but he was determined to kill me. So he looked at me and said,' Kill me, then I kill you. You are going to finish this story or else your dead."
I spat in his face, then he got angry and let go of me, he didn't even blink. He just let me fall off this building showing no remorse as he watched me fall to my demise. However to my surprise I found myself standing in this field, it seemed impossible that I was even alive but the death in my dream as real as ordinary every day reality. I could feel the pain as I found myself surprisingly on this field; I even looked down at my hand and looked at it very closely...shocked at how it looked perfectly ordinary...every hair, every imperfection, every skin pore.

But then I realized, "how could this be real if I'm in a field...yet I'm actually in bed." Then I was struck by a second wave of awe and "spine tingles." The dream had become so real that I had just about gone out of lucidity and gone back to regular dreaming. But realising it couldn't be real because I was actually in my bed, brought my awareness back sharp. And all I could remember was getting almost frightened at this point. I was just standing in this field, knowing that I was in bed dreaming, and marvelling at how real my surroundings looked, sounded, felt, smelled.
It was indistinguishable from real life. All I could think of was, "If standing in this field is as real as real life, yet I know it's all a construct of my dreaming mind, how can I be certain so-called real life isn't the exact same thing?"



That thought sent more shivers up my spine and it was enough to wake me up. As I woke up, in bed, at 2:00am...I just laid there mesmerised and fearful by what had just happened. For a good 15
minutes I just laid there and thought about it. It's been an hour of no sleep; heaven knows I won't know where I am when I'd finally wake up, but one thought I couldn't get out of my mind was....how real it all was. And how uncertain I felt about the realness of so-called reality.

I mean, how do I know this wasn't a dream?

Maybe spiritual teachers of certain schools of thought were right and each individual subjective consciousness was an aspect, a fragment, of the
one whole undivided mind of God...or being itself.

Like two mirrors facing each other. One was
shattered...fragmented infinitely. And the other was whole and smooth. Maybe "real life" was absolutely a dream.



When I pondered the question, "Why did reality exist...at all?" I couldn't help but wonder if the sheer absurdity that we were at all might not make sense when you admit that this was an ephemeral dream in the mind of an infinite
conscious being...that was itself formless,
nothingness....and it can only interact with and become all it's infinite aspects by dividing itself relative to itself, in order to come to know itself through itself. And what we called "reality" is every bit as solid as an equation or language.


Maybe reality was indeed a language...simply
immaterial information somehow projected into
awareness itself.


Ignatius called me when he saw me coming out of the bathroom.

'Good morning son, how did you sleep? He asked.


'I'm okay, just a little sleepy, I slept well though...where's William?' I asked. (I really like him, and he was the more manly man in their relationship.)



'Oh William's at work, he said he'd come by soon, in the mean time he asked me to tell you to get up, and go take a shower, we're going to invite the neighbours over', Ignatius said.




' You mean the new neighbours who has finally decided to come out?' I asked curious...


'Yes son! Those people, that's why it's important for us to be nice neighbours and give them a warm welcome to our neighbourhood', Ignatius said calmly...


'I'll get done now, but what do I wear?' I asked.



"Oh don't you worry, I bought you something good from the store', ignatius said.


I walked away, heading for the bathroom. I got into the shower and started reminiscing where Ignatius and William had a conversation about this family. And I started thinking and asking myself why they would remain silent until now.

This family moved in next door and my two gay parents invited them over for dinner tonight.

Our houses detached but only like 50 yards apart
from each other, with three trees and a lone fence
separating us.

When I finally finished cleaning myself, I got dressed and laid on my already made up bed. I suppose Ignatius felt he'd clean everything while I was in the shower. Perhaps he liked having people over, that's why invited our neighbours to have supper with us.


An hour or two went by and I laid there, staring at the computer, in the middle of a conflict within my mind whether I should continue to write or kill Sebastian. It would be my payback to him. I'd finally have my revenge after he threw me off the mansion.

Meanwhile I heard William's voice and I could hear his voice from outside, and I stared at the window, so as the doorbell chimed I got up to let him in, and I was surprised to find his car and the car of someone else sitting in our driveway.
While on his way to the door, I quickly ran back to my room, and pretended to be asleep.


It seemed William had brought some guests of his own. I could hear him walking up to my room and he opened the door, then he sat on my bed whispering in my ear,' I got a surprise for you."


I turned around and out of curiosity asked him what it was, he said smiling that I'd have to wait and see.
It seemed I didn't like surprises at all.

'Why don't you come with me to the guest room, they're waiting to see you', William said.



'Who?' I asked curious...


'Oh you'll see', William said.


As we made our way down to the guest room, there I saw her sitting there along with a man and a lady, whom I presumed were probably her parents.

'Sebastian...this is my niece Antoinette, I'm sure you guys are about the same age', William said.


She reached her hand out to me and said', Hey, I'm Antoinette, delighted to meet you', she said with her soft angelic voice.

I shook her hand and it was as soft as her voice. She did not judge me because I was an orphan, nor because my new found parents were both male. William was her uncle and her mother was his sister, so that would eventually, in some strange way make her my aunt and Antoinette my cousin, though not related by blood.


They flew all the way from Canada to stay with us for the holidays. I immediately took Antoinette to my room, she wasn't at all hesitant to go with me, she was at ease in my presence.


As we made our way to my room, I heard a knock on the door and Ignatius opened it and invited them; they were probably the neighbours. And what's so strange was...William asked them asked them why they drove all the way from them to us because they practically why they did so, it was like literally a minute's walk, because, you know, we're neighbours, but they just said 'why not?' Soon a simple joke, changed into our neighbour insulting William.



Then both William and Ignatius started having an argument with them at the door, but Ignatius soon calmed William down and the man's wife calmed him down.

When the conflict was finally settled. They apologised to one another.

' I just asked why you would drive all the way from your house being practically next to ours; it's a waste of money and time', William said.


'Please...my car my rules, keep your suggestions to yourself!' The man said upset...


Ey! I wasn't trying to insult you but really...I wanted to add on that you could "do with the exercise" but let that be the end of it', William said.


Our neighbour just became agitated and brushed William off. Ignatius invited them inside, having one of those 'make believe' smiles on his face.



They came inside, and following behind them were their four sons Mark, Owen, Natalie and Simone.

Antoinette and I went upstairs and Ignatius probably took William immediately to the kitchen to talk to him, but I couldn't I could hear them talking about the neighbours sitting in the living
room through the wall as I walked further and further to my room with Antoinette.

Mark, Owen, Natalie and Simone just sat there; their children were sniggering so take from that what you will. They watched TV for the
next half hour not communicating with anyone, as if they were robotically generated to act only on the command of their parents. I on the other hand was allowed to roam wherever I wanted with freedom.


I showed Antoinette my story 400Rome, and she immediately started reading it, it was quick to her because I haven't actually written that much but enough to keep one amused.

'Hey! This is a pretty interesting story. The only feedback I could give is that the punctuation is a little off. The story itself is intriguing though. Nicely done!' Antoinette said smiling...


'Why, thank you...I didn't know how people would take the story, as I'm well aware it being about serial killers', I said.


'Just don't let uncle Willy get it, he'd probably think there's something wrong with you.' Antoinette said.


'Really? Please don't tell him', I said fearful...


'Well...I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell him, he's my uncle', Antoinette said.


'Oh no, please don't' I beg of you', I said even more afraid and concerned.


'I'm messing with you, I won't tell him I swear! And besides, if you keep writing I'll keep reading', Antoinette said.

There soon was a knock on the door. And as the door opened we saw Ignatius telling us to come down because dinner will be ready soon.


Antoinette and I then made our way downstairs and met with the others. We sat at the huge table in the dining room. It felt a little uncomfortable and being in the presence of our neighbour and his entire family just caused a big elephant in the room.

Dinner turned out to be very awkward for me as our neighbour's wife and their children kept giving me evils. It seemed William thought of bringing up the topic again because he seemed distracted. But Ignatius was there to help him remain calm; because we could all see their car parked through the front window, but the sound of our neighbour spluttering his food down to his fourth chin and their kids scoffing my Ignatius and Antoinette's mom's chicken dish like it was
the starter led me to believe that this was a lost cause.


I finished my plate, soon after when I was done, Antoinette and I went upstairs to discuss my novel once more. It was then where we noticed Mark, Owen and their sisters who had already finished eating followed us to my room. But their father called them just in time, and I could hear him shunting at them', Mark! Owen! Natalie and Simone! Come! We're leaving...


Suddenly I felt the urge to eat some more food it seemed I was still hungry because I left before I'd had my fill because of these greasy lard-sweating hippos. I didn't come down to say goodbye when they left.

Antoinette and I went to my room and the children left staring at us as though they were planning on killing us or something.

Was I wrong to argue with them and make dinner awkward?

There was literally no reason for them to drive over, I mean it wasn't even dark because they came around at 2pm. I just found it so ridiculous, but that's how our neighbours were, they were just different, just like my own family.
While Antoinette sat there in my room she told me something, she didn't look as though she was kidding.

"My parents used to live in a small subdivision about 45 minutes outside of Toronto. According to them it was a relatively normal middle-class development with decent neighbours. Of course, there were occasional scream- filled arguments from the newlyweds across the street, but nothing one could consider out of the ordinary."



'Why did you choose to tell me this Antoinette?' I asked.


'Because I trust you and you know this morning they explained to me why they moved across the
country to the outskirts of New York', Antoinette said.


'And why is that?' I asked curious...


'My dad was really good friends with the family right next door, but the breadwinner was offered a posh new job in upstate NY. And later that day my dad spoke with his friend and sounded rather upset "D****t, Richard. So you're leaving us? Who's gonna host the 4th of July barbecue now?" My dad said to my mom. Antoinette said.



He was pretty upset, but my mom said he got over it pretty quickly. Three weekends later, the Simpson's house was put up for sale and they were long gone. My mom didn't really get along with the wife so she was really excited to see who would move in next door to them, but
that excitement was short lived', Antoinette said.


'Your mom probably thought there was something off-putting about them', I said.



'Yeah, That was my mom's reaction the first time she saw the new neighbours."They were constantly smiling. I mean 24/7 the smiles
never left their faces and they were whiter than bed sheets', Antoinette said.


"Like, they never went outside or something', I said.


'My dad chimed in. "Yea, and your mother wasn't being overly judgmental either. They just looked...different. That's the only way I can describe it to you." My dad said, Antoinette seemed happy to be staying with us, and felt comfortable speaking about her past with me.

'But your parents aren't that bad, they're good people', I said.


'Yeah I know, I just reminisced back to that specific moment when your neighbours came to have dinner with us', Antoinette said.


'Yeah despite them not staying long, they aren't the people William and Ignatius normally associates with, they're better off neighbours than friends', I said.


"They didn't just write them off though. My parents aren't like that. After they were situated in their new home my mom baked them cookies and they both went over to introduce themselves', Antoinette said.



She added,' The new neighbours answered the
door shoulder to shoulder, the thin-lipped smiles still plastered on their pale faces."


"Yeah maybe they were vampires or something', I hinted. We both then laughed.

'My dad said they looked exhausted, but the grins still stayed. He always felt he had to introduce himself in a good neighbourly manner by saying "Hey, how are ya? We live right next door. We thought we would introduce ourselves and welcome you to the neighbourhood." Antoinette said.



'Let me guess...then they'll reply with a simple gesture by saying. "Thank you. Please come inside sir and ma'am. We like you and you are welcome here always." I said.


"Yeah you hit the nail right on the head. My parents stayed for about an hour and during that
time barely any words were exchanged. They both tried asking questions about their careers, previous locations, etc., Antoinette said.


'I'm sure they really liked your parents', I said.


'Yeah, but The only things they said were very short and vague. The questions were never reciprocated and they sat on their couch shoulder to shoulder the entire time, even when my parents left their house', Antoinette said.


'So they were more of a stagnant type of family? I asked curious...


"I wouldn't say that exactly but we sort of waited for them to walk with us to the front door, but they just sat there." "Ok, that's really, really strange." My mom said to my dad, Antoinette said.


'What was so strange', I asked curious...


'My mom said,'Anthony, listen to us. That is just scratching the surface of who these people really were. The weeks that followed were surreal and terrifying. We decided we are just going to tell you everything, but you have to promise us that
you won't be scared or anything." Antoinette said.


'You should have just walked out of the room at that point', I said.


'Well, Things started to become odd the third day after they moved in. Before all of their boxes were even unpacked, the husband began painting their house exactly like my parents'. Antoinette said.


'Wow that's so strange, your dad must've been irritated by that man's actions of copying him', I said.



'Their's was a light creme colour with a thin blue stripe around the perimeter, and by the end of the day so was the house next door. Apparently my parents didn't bring it up right away. The next day my dad was out mowing the lawn, and so was the man. He was wearing the same hat and using the same brand and model of mower', Antoinette said.



"That must've really upset you, so that sort of force you to confront him about it. Perhaps you weren't aggressive or anything, but at least you insinuated how there was no way that was just a coincidence, especially since he had painted his house like yours the day before', I said.




'He just looked at me with that ominous smile and didn't say a word. It was weirding both of us out, so we watched them intently for a few weeks. It just got more and more insane as the days went by." Antoinette said.


'So you like kind of spied on them or something?' I asked.


"No I wouldn't say that, but a week after the house painting incident, the neighbours next door decided to purchase a new vehicle, and you guessed it, it was the same car as my parent's', Antoinette said.


'Let me guess...it was Ford?' I said.


'No! It was a 1987 BMW 3 series convertible in red. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. The next day my dad invited himself over to ask them some questions', Antoinette said.



'And I presume you were as eager to listen to what the conversation was all about', I asked.




"I just tagged along for the ride." My mom said. "I was just curious as to what they had to say about all of this." Antoinette said.



'You know what they say...curiosity killed the cat', I said.



'When they got there the neighbours opened the door shoulder to shoulder just like last time. Their smiles were wider than ever', Antoinette said.




'So what did they say?' I asked curious...



"Welcome back, sir and ma'am." "Yea, ok. Can we talk for a second? I just need to ask you
guys some things." "Yes, please come in." Antoinette said.



"They stepped inside and sat down with them and then...I insinuated confidently...



"Yea! Then my parents asked them the following: 'We were just wondering why you're like, copying us. I honestly just want to mind my own business, but it's getting kind of weird. Wouldn't you agree?"



"They paused for a minute, looked at each other, and responded, "We like our neighbours. We like you."Antoinette said.



'What did your parents say?' I asked curious...



'Well, My dad noticed something was upsetting my mom at this point. Her face went flush and she grabbed his leg. I saw him looking at her and saying something in his ear and all I heard was "Are you...whats wrong?"Antoinette said.



'Your mother was probably concerned about something, she must've had a gut feeling about these people', I said.




'She whispered to him under her breath, "James, we need to get out of here. We need to leave right now" Antoinette said.




'Then what happened?' I asked curious...




"Sorry, guys we need to go, my wife isn't feeling very well."
They left in a hurry. My dad was flustered with my mom asking her what the hell was going on and why she got so upset all of the sudden. They got home and she slammed the door', Antoinette said.


'Your father seemed upset', I said.



"Yes, and she was yelling at him saying,' Jesus Christ, James. Jesus Christ."


"What the hell is the matter, can you please just tell me?" My father asked, and at this time my mom was almost in tears at this point', Antoinette said.




'What did you mother say? What bothered he so much?' I asked curious...



"She said,' James, I looked into their bedroom. They had the door wide open. James, they have the same bloody bedroom as us. The comforter on their bed was the same pattern as ours, they have the same curtains on their windows, and they have the same night stands that we do. How the hell would they know that, they've never been over to our house before." Antoinette said.



'This must've really upset your father off quite a bit', I said.



"Well, he said...What the hell. Are you being serious right now?"

"James, have they been inside our house?"Antoinette said.



What happened next?' I asked curious...


'I asked them why they didn't just go back there and actually confront them or call the police?

(But they told me they were just kind of in the denial stage. They didn't want to believe this was actually happening, but they knew it was. They knew exactly what was happening. Neither of them got very much sleep that night. Right before they went to bed, my dad set up an old VHS camcorder on a table in the corner of their room facing their bedroom door.)


"I just had to know." He said. Antoinette said distracted...



(It seemed Antoinette had her mind on a different topic or in a different time. I shook her arm to get her attention till she finally came back to our conversation.)



'Where was I? Antoinette asked confused...



'Your dad? Something about he had to know' I said.



'Oh yea, My dad pulled out an old cardboard box full of tapes and popped one into our VHS player.

"Watch this." He said.

(He fast-forwarded the tape till about an hour in. I was in disbelieve. The video showed the copycat neighbours standing at the edge of my parents bed shoulder to shoulder. Their smiles were gone. Instead they had a murderous look on their faces, wrinkled and contorted. They stood there, just watching my parents through the night until the grainy video cut out 3 hours in.)



'Your parents must've been devastated at what these people were doing', I said.



"You know Sebastian my father nearly had a heart attack when he watched the tape the next morning. I was scared but my father was then extremely angry. He grabbed his old baseball bat and sprinted over to their house. No one was answering, so he beat their door down." Antoinette said.



"Jesus. What did he do to them?" I asked.


"They were gone. All of their stuff was neatly boxed up in the living room. The bmw was still there, but they were gone and never came back', Antoinette said.



'Then what did your parents do?' I asked curious and concerned...



'There was only one thing that we could do; we filed a police report that day. After we showed them the video they worked extremely hard to find these people, whoever the hell they were, but there were no leads', Antoinette said.




(The information they used to buy the house and the car was stolen from another couple from Virginia and there was nothing else on them.)


'This sound serious', I said.


'My father told me to keep quiet about this, at first I didn't want to say anything, but you look like someone who can keep a secret Sebastian and I like you', Antoinette said.



'Thank you for trusting me with this, and I assure you your secret's safe with me', I said.




'We got the hell out of that neighbourhood and moved over here for peace of mind."Antoinette exclaimed...



"Oh my God, I'm not even sure what to think right now. I am so sorry." I am truly at a loss for words', I said.



'You know I asked them why they waited so long to tell me the entire story, and why we had to move',Antoinette exclaimed.



"Remember your old neighbour neighbour Mr. Simpson? we were talking about? Does your dad still keep in touch with him occasionally', I asked curious...


"He called last night and told us he has some new neighbours. The third day they were there they painted their house just like his', Antoinette said.

'I'm sorry to hear about what you and your family went through', I said pitiful...

'It's okay, and besides cousin...it's not your fault, at least we're around family now, and it's good to have someone my age around to explore this world with me', Antoinette said.

We then left my room, walking down the corridors, and down to the stairs to meet up with our parents and perhaps to watch some television. And as we're walking down the stairs I can't help but wonder what Paperface was up to, and what would happen him and Sebastian just after they've been gun-pointed by all those policemen.

I imagine Headlines would probably have read: 'Man and apprentice jailed after threatening police officers with gun in court."
Sebastian Ross probably didn't even feel threatened by officers who had tasers on them. But knowing Sebastian Ross, It seemed to me he was perhaps only toying with them to get into prison. He had a hidden agenda for almost everything he did; that was the mystery of being around Sebastian Ross. Some would probably assume he was my alter ego because of us sharing a similar name, but he was however just a character I had regretted of creating and one character I didn't know how to eliminate. And threatening officers was “a very serious offence” and which justified an immediate custodial sentence or so I read somewhere. The court would probably sentenced Sebastian Ross to 12 months imprisonment or more and order him to pay a victim surcharge. I don't know...I guess we'll have to wait and see; Antoinette and I.


But meeting Antoinette, listening to her family's story and what drove them to leave their home to come live with us really opened my eyes. Just having the privilege of being adopted by William and Ignatius despite them being gay has certainly taught me the true meaning of FAMILY.

Author's Note

You will love this chapter, enjoy the read!