withered in the rain

Pretty roses come out in the rain
White clouds gather as the tear drops disdain
Gray beetles agonized drop and drain
Dark wind carries the pink memories and colors them so plain

Cold breeze descending from the sky down to earth
Smothering each breath in the soil of pain
Tears wash the soul but leave it so numb
Agonized and empty inside

O sun the eyes do see thy light
Your glowing heat does reach inside
But a withered leaf in the rain is cast aside

Pretty roses do nourish in the rain
But without the light of the sun
It slowly ashes them to vain  
 

Author's Note

if you felt lost while or after reading, then we're on the same track..

Reviews

[Jack...]

Wonderful, vibrant and beautiful. It is morning here and this, I thank you so much, will be my sunshine for the day, even if it rains. Still you retain that quality in your phrasing, a certain blissfulness follows your every word. The skies may darken and open up, flooding the streets, but with this poem it will always be a sunny spring day in my heart. Thanks you for asking me to read this, it is like a gift to me.

[Dalia]

you have a gift in your kind words Jack.
I appreciate you think so, and I hope it'll shine on me soon as well
thank you, am grateful.

[Jack...]

Very soon it will shine on you and the light will be warm and refreshing. You will know that it is well to smile once again.

[Dalia]

I hope so, wish me luck :)

[Jack...]

Always

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

Beautiful but you make me feel surprise with every poem i read to you :)

[Dalia]

thank you Hadeel
good to know I do ;)

[Deron Alexis]

lol you make such great pictures of imagery you are really good at creating pictures well done

[Dalia]

well that's great ti know my friend :)
thanks a lot

[BL]

I am not lost, you have created a thoughtful collection of images, I liked this very much

[Dalia]

thank you Bluely
am glad you think so :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Was a little lost in a poem that felt gentle but sad. All stanzas rhyme except the second and all follow different rhyming patterns.

[Dalia]

good to know
I know I wasn't lucky with rhyming the second stanza, am still working on my skills here, I'll try to make a change if I could.
thank you John

[Annabelle Lee]

I much enjoyed this... A few suggestions

Tears wash the soul but leave it so numb

Your glowing heat does reach inside

Pretty roses do nourish in the rain

You're getting there :)

[Dalia]

much appreciated my friend Anna
I've made the changes
thank you :)

[khalid]

it is very mind provoking poem. i think it refers to passing on something but its effects stay for ever with us. like when we lose someone dear to us, after some time we feel we have passed on it but it stays affecting us forever..

[Dalia]

exactly my friend, part of the theme yes.
thank you for reading and reviewing

[khalid]

welcome

[sue]

Makes me feel chilly and waiting for the warmth. You captured the feeling really well.

[Dalia]

thank you
Glad you liked it