Lofty Voice

when the voice of sanity calls upon

Think .. be sane

Blink .. open your eyes

Get out of the rain

Be sane .. be sane

" Leave me alone … lofty voice

You want me safe.. but I have no choice

Am dragged down there

Where darkness is the light

And hope!! Slaughtered a thousand times

Where tears nourish trees of despair

And pain arouses from nowhere

Its calling me, a louder voice

Ugly fears have left no choice"

Think .. be sane

"Meaningless call … lofty voice..

Am following another voice

One who's destroying the ability

To believe.. to feel .. any sanity

Leave me alone to another fool

Leave.. be cruel

I've already seen the beginning and the end of the duel..

 

Reviews

[Lonesome Traveler]

This has all the feelings of a power struggle that is tragically unbalanced, one sided.
One thing I would change is the use of voice in the second line of the last stanza, for me it is a slightly jarring after being at the end of the previous line.
A lovely piece though, thanks for sharing :)

[Dalia]

I'll consider changing that
but thanks glad you like it :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"where tears nourish trees of despair"

such desolate words...

when we go from pain to numbness, that is scary...what comes next?

really anxious moments in this read...the sadness overwhelming.

[Dalia]

thanks for reviewing Jacob :)

[scripted]

this was a great write... honestly one of the best i have read in a while... this poem has good word usage and was very well penned! i love how powerful it was... nice job!!!
yours truely Danielle

[Dalia]

thank you Danielle , am glad you like it my friend, am ever so humbled.

[scripted]

your welcome!!!

[Jack...]

Wow, now this is powerful and intense. I can truly feel the struggle in this poem. You have captured a feeling we all deal with at times and painted it strikingly with your words.

[Dalia]

Thank you Jack :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

the end of a the duel indeed, a classic piece that reads well, but the flow is segmented somewhat.

[Dalia]

Thank you Thomas, am honored.
I'll try to work on that, thanks for pointing that out,

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

your welcome my friend, keep writing

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Interesting piece but needs a little crafting to flow better.

[Dalia]

Thank you John
I guess I need help regarding that, do you suggest anything ?