Full moon calls

as a reply to a friend's inspiring poem

 

Full moon calls upon me

Once more I fight my misery

You've reached with a startling light

That filled my heart with delight

Startled

"there is somebody there!

There is one who care!"

Yes am here

But behold my light.. its blur

Am a dream .. am a mystery

I might fade away .. I might go astray

" I'll not leave you in the dark!!

I'll not resist thy spark..

Full moon shining within every part

Never depart"

Am Whimsical .. am history

My heart I've left in another dynasty

You'll never guess.. you'll never know

What's inside.. that glow

"I'm not to blame

Am not sane

Darkness of the night has left me lost

Deep in the heart I feel frost

Take my hand.. lead the way

Under you light.. I'll walk my way

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

one who no longer knows reality...something like emily dickinson's "i felt a funeral in my brain"--

yet there is something so pure and innocent about the person spoken about in this poem...would be smoother with a couple grammatical changes.."there is one who will care"
"might fade away" "might go astray" without the "i"

last line "under your light..."

but i really like your phrasing very much.

and you allow us to read into the pieces what we see as readers.

jacob

[Dalia]

A huge honor to me to relate my humble words to those of Emily Dickinson's
I'll consider these grammatical mistakes, thanks for pointing them out.

Thanks for your wonderful words, they mean a lot :)

[Jack...]

illumined by the moonlight glow, shimmering as its light dances in fanciful patterns. There is something quite pure about this poem. Thank you for sharing.

[Dalia]

Thank you for reading it Jack
I just read a poem for you about the moon, and it gave me relief, thank you, I'd love to read your reviews more and more please

[Jack...]

It would be my pleasure

[Dalia]

and my honor

[Lonesome Traveler]

I really liked the use of 'am' in somewhat unconventional manner, especially in the third verse. It somehow weaves the poem into a beautiful picture, that feels like it is flashing by and smudging like a dynamic watercolour painting. "Am a dream .. am a mystery I might fade away .. I might go astray". Love that bit, and helpless innocence in brings, really reminds me of someone I know.!
So keep it up! :)

[Dalia]

Glad you liked it
Am honored :)

[ObscurityNone]

"Am", I have not seen that used in the same context that you seem to be using it, it adds to create a unique little style of yours. "But behold my light.. It's blur". I liked. x)

[Dalia]

thanks my friend for your wonderful words :)

[.]

Awesome....i really did like it damn much....yet i've got my some time then i thought i should have to read out your one writing's too.........it's a really good........& one more think it's good bcoz......u know why...coz.......here in ur poem so rhymic touch that i love much......& your word's are totally perfect with your wrtiting....i really enjoyed it.....there's so preety word's........
i loved that line"I MIGHT FADE AWAY,I MIGHT GO ASTRAY,
BUT I'LL NEVER LEVER YOU ALONE IN THE DARK......"
and there's so many lines that i loved much....i even can't say in my word;s ..but just wanna say that i didn't waste my time in your writting...even i've gained something new from here........this time u've done a brilliant + great job........i think this is your 2nd poem that i've read out.....& really i'm truley saying that i loved it damn much.......i wanted to read exactly like this.....now i'm thinking that you are now my competitor...coz......ur rhymic style is same as mine style....(ahahahah)...here on the site i didn't find out any other fella who write's in such a way...you are the one here.....no...no...wait...not one....you are the second one here....coz....i'm the first...one here...(ahahah)


(:-))

i liked that touch.....that's a real spirit of writing........even now i'm thinking that i'd feel happy to read your poem's first.....You are really a nice writter..........as i saw.....
now i'm here a little-bit puzzle to think that how many mark's i should have to give you.........is that.99/100...coz....100/100...i'm..(kidding)..........no... you too deserve 100/100.........any way........i enjoyed it finally+totally........
have an awesome + cheerful + wonderful + lovely + charming = happy day................!!

[Dalia]

WOW :) Above the sky you are really over rating my writings, your lovely words really means a lot to me , happy you liked it, happy you believe we share the same style of writing, that's an honor :)

[.]

Ahhhhh...........don't mention it..now you are not only my frnd,you are now my competitior...& i love to work with my competitor's....you deserve that what all i'd said before.....you have a talent...& yeah Dalia (silent-charm) you + i = we really share's same style of writing..........anyway...grow-up with your unique style......it's an honor for me too...carry-on........