A beam of warmth

As the sun rays pierces through the clouds in the early morning, I felt warm

A beam of warmth travels through the distance
A beam of warmth fills my existence
O beam of warmth everywhere I find

In lovers eyes.. as the smile in depart cries
I feel thy melody..in the chants of ecstasy
Even if cold and bloody

Come warmth .. enter my heart
As the sun ray pierce the clouds in every part
Bring back the rhythm to the beat
Am dancing with dead feet
Sing once more and I'll repeat
Hold on .. am catching your heat

 

Reviews

[Lonesome Traveler]

"Bring back the rhythm to the beat
Am dancing with dead feet"
^^Something very poetically pleasing about those lines. Also it reminds of Rilke in the flow and themes, and that's always a good thing :)

[Dalia]

It is a good thing indeed, am pleased you think so of my words, thanks Lonesome Traveler :)

[Jack...]

Come warmth..enter my heart. Passion plays in your lines like the sun meets our every day. Very nice indeed, I enjoyed this and felt its warmth.

[Dalia]

I felt so as well when I wrote it
Thanks for reading and reviewing my simple words

[Jack...]

Words are only simple if they fail to touch someone, yours are not simple. You are welcome.

[Dalia]

I agree with you ..

[ObscurityNone]

An interesting switch-up at the end, you break the flow, however stick with the rhyme. Unorthodox, but it does convey something that seems to be along the lines of "a double edged sword". This was nice.

[Dalia]

Thank you for your review , am still working on my style and rhyming and everything,
Glad you liked it

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

this is new, isnt it?
Beautiful!

[Dalia]

Yes it is.
Thanks Adam glad you liked it .

[khalid]

warmth of feelings is what we all need. we may spend our lives feeling cold looking for this warmth so whenever we find it, we should never let it go..

[Dalia]

quite right on that :)

[Frieda P]

Distance between never extinguishes that warmth we feel, well said. Nicely pen'd.

[Dalia]

thank you so much Frieda .. am glad you liked it :)

[Frieda P]

My pleasure ;-)

[Dalia]

I'd always love to know what you think of my writings