Bring Back The Past

Look across the burring sky
the only one this world has
during the day and the night
what does it keep saying?
As a little boy
i wanted to know
what the sky said
it keeps murmuring something
but i cant tell what it says.

I keep looking to the future
and i turn away the past.
My teen years role by
now the sky only holds nightmares
and other dark secrets of the night.
Soon i will be controlled by my loins
if it hasn't already begun
but lust seems to take its toll.

Years after i graduated
i still think back to those days
how school was sweet
by looking past the blackness
of the darker points of my past.
I'm only thinking of the few girls i knew
deep in my heart;
there was more to them.
but i feared rejection too much to even attempt
leaving me in a deeper failure.
That failure
and the irony,
how they left me an empty shell
a hollow ghost of my former self
break the loveliness
of those sweet sweet few.

My life became forfeit
my lust dwindled
and that tragic fate
left me with nothing but fear
fear and hatred
a self loathing so to speak.
The girls still persist in my dreams
my nightmares.
Irony
how you still torture me so
my longing
my self pity and loathing
led to nothing but sorrow
and drove me to madness.
How i would love to go back and change things
to be with someone,
but that chance has gone
and the chance at a love has been lost
in the sea of regret.
i wish i could go back
i want to but i cant
bring myself
to bring back the past.