Just Another Day

It's a bit of a reflection of my childhood, though she didn't get mad at me regarding eggs. She once got mad at my dad about it, though, so that's why I used it here.

You turn off the stove. On the counter is a plate with a fried egg on it. You tried to make it into a perfect circle on the frying pan. It didn’t turn out just as you had wanted, with some parts folded and broken and some parts burnt, but you had tried your best. You hope it would make her happy, or at least satisfied. You take it to the dinner table and call for your mother, giving her the plate along with a fork, feeling at least a little proud of your work. You immediately come to regret frying the egg when she doesn’t eat it but instead just glares at it.

“You were able to make a perfect circle yesterday, why can’t you do it again?”

She stabs the egg, disappointed and angry. You stand there, unable to do anything. You had hoped that this wouldn’t happen, but of course it would. It always did, and it always will. You can’t seem to do anything right. Then, she starts yelling.

“What is wrong with you?! Why are some parts of it burnt?! You know that it can cause cancer! Are you trying to kill me?!”

The feeling of dread starts rising up in you. Kind of as though your mother was holding a knife in one hand and holding a baby by the neck in another. Kind of as though someone was holding a gun up to your head or you’re looking down from the room of a tall building. You’re not safe. You’re about to die. You brace for the oncoming attack.

“Why are you even doing something so dumb in the first place?! Are you done your homework?! Did you clean your room?! You’re disgusting! Worthless! You can’t even take care of yourself properly! What are you going to do when I’m dead?!”

You’re not really taken aback by the comments. She had said these things many times before. You tried to get used it over the years, but each time hurts more than the last. Over time, you had tried your best to avoid these words, but it seems like it would be impossible.

“You’re f*****g worthless! Go f**k yourself! Go die in a hole for all I care! You’re going to grow up poor and useless and you can’t do anything about it! You can’t do anything right!”

There are times when you feel like she’s right. There are times when you hear those words, you think it would be better to just kill yourself so she wouldn’t be so stressed out anymore. After all, you’re the cause of it. You’re the reason why she’s so stressed out and gets angry all the time. She said so herself. Before she gave birth, she was much happier and polite, she had told you one day. She throws the plate onto the glass dinner table and the uneaten egg flies off the plate and onto the floor.

“Go clean that up.”

And she leaves the room to go back to the TV to watch her shows. You stand there, staring at the unwanted egg. Tears well up, but you fight to keep them back the best you can. If she sees that you were crying, she would get mad again. You pick up your fellow comrade on the floor and eat it, mistakes, grime, disappointment and all. You wipe the grease off the floor and you wash the plate and fork. Eyes looking towards the living room, you figure she won’t be upset enough to starve herself today. At least that’s a good thing. Your feet drag you back to your room. You regret trying to impress her, to make her happy. Changing into your pjs, you crawl into bed, wishing you didn’t have to wake up anymore. Today is just another day, and tomorrow will be just the same. You close your eyes and fall asleep, wishing for a better day.

Reviews

[wordman]

sounds like you can`t win for losing

[Daku Raita]

ain't that the truth

[wordman]

a daily thing for us all