Only a dream

See the faces of the fallen
Lost in support of this cause
Supression fire loud on the left
No decision is without flaws
Fear and blood
Like sucking on a penny
Gunpowder and sand
The last scents known to many
A startle and a quick jump up
Awaken with a scream
The sheets on the bed are soft and inviting
Only a dream, only a dream.

Author's Note

Here's my second poem ever. I was challenged to use the senses.

Reviews

[melissa]

this is an awsome poem i hope to read more of your stories and poems Jake has told me about your book tag chaser i am on my way ro read it now

[Lorrie]

Very deep for second poem ever! Descriptive and emotional. Good work.
.novelists.elite.info.
.display. Lorrie
.memberID. 052
.division. VI
.division.leader. Vacant
.name. ----
.username. longislandlorrie
.novels. ----
.status. New Member
.join date. 07-19-11

[kdpgrahi]

A great write, simple and revealing.

[Jake Donald Stephens]

Your second poem ever is one of the greatest I've read in a while. A lot of "poets" just throw random vocabulary words together, but you put a lot of thought into this and it shows.
I think "supression" has two "p"s. (Yeah, it had the red underline when I typed it just now.)
This is exactly what a poem should be, short and to the point, thought-provoking and powerful. I love it.

.novelists.elite.info.
.display. .jake.008.
.memberID. 008
.division. I
.division.leader. Wesley
.name. Jake
.username. DesertKing

.novels. Cliff, Night Breed, Journey of the Kervant, Back To The Shack, The Cult, The Purple Rift

.status. Role Model, Novelist, noelwrimo Champion

.noelwrimo.wordcount. 30,271
.join date. 03-24-2011

[SageMusic]

Dakota - well, it took me there so a success in my book. On a side note, a son of a friend of ours just got home for good after almost 10 years in and out. A huge sigh of relief is in the air here this week mixed with the lingering sadness for other families and friends not so fortunate.


~~Novelists Elite~~
Display: SageMusic
Novelists Elite Member ID: 006
Name: Heather
Username: sagemusic
Novels:----
NE Status: Inactive
Join Date: 03-24-2011

[MAC]

second poem ever?? really?? wow this is very good! tough life for both the soldier and his family. great write!!

[fireblossom]

I like this. I wish such things were only a dream don't you? Your poem is direct and descriptive and shows real talent.

[sammyj]

Wow! this is good, i mean really good!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I'd swear you were there too.
You have incredible vision as a writer.

[Art Sun]

nice work...

I am sure there are many who awake to this type of emotion...