Eternal Separation of Body and Spirit

 

 

What have become? Somewhere in between a man and a boy, a child and an adult, I walk this lonely path alone. I have become a shell of someone who used to be. My spirit has left me yet my body keeps on living, breathing, moving while my spirit moves restlessly across this road, this boulevard of broken dreams.

 

“I walk a lonely road, the only one I that have ever known.
Don't know were it goes but its home to me and I walk alone.

 

I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
Where the city sleeps and I'm the only one and I walk alone.

 

My shadows the only one that walks beside me; my shallow heart’s the only thing that's beating; sometimes I wish someone out there will find me. Till then I walk alone.

 

I'm walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind.
On the border line of the edge and where I walk alone

 

Read between the lines of what's fucked up and everything’s all right.
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive and I walk alone.”[1]

 

I will always walk alone. I am but a shadow on the wind. Always there but always out of reach. A mirage, a fading memory of something that doesn’t exist anymore for it has long since died and passed on.

I deserve not that which I seek for I have cursed myself to self-destruction for that which I have touched becomes cursed like me. I bring nothing but pain and sorrow, for I am pain and sorrow. This is the burden I carry for all time; to know and see that which I can never hold or love. For I have forgotten love, the greatest emotion ever known. To love, what does it mean? To have and to hold for all time. The pain and suffering that it has caused has become more than I can bear.

 

In the forever darkness of this road that I walk alone, I see that which escapes my grasp. It is this journey that I take, yet I know I will never reach my destination nor ever attain my goal or hold my prize. Yet I still press on, what is it that drives this insanity, this insomnia?

 

The shadow of the past and the ghost of the present, I ride the winds of the night adrift along the median of time. I am the ghost rider of the night. Keeping forever vigilance on the dreams of night, protector of spirits, a guardian from ancient Celtic times, always awake always watching ready to take up the sword a defend against those who would do harm to the innocent. Willing to protect and die for those I can never have…

 

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[1] © Green Day �" Boulevard of Broken Dreams