Splishy Sploshy Plip Plop!

Splishy Sploshy Plip Plop!

A Poem by Daisy
"

Summertime is soon and I was thinking about pretty colours and kissing

"
Little green fish flies up to the sun
In and out of view through white cuddily clouds
'Oh my,' says pure pink luscious lips
Hand moves to cover grinning smile
Quiet footsteps come closer
Down by the waterside
Where baby yellow bees buzz
Past delicate blue dragonflies
Looking for the honey nectar of fruitful flowers
'Oh my,' says pure pink luscious lips
Fingers touch tenderly holding hands
'Plop!,' little green fish comes back
Lands in the sparkling cool wet water
'Oh my,' says pure pink luscious lips
Splishy sploshy sounds
Kiss kiss kissing
In wonderful colourful warm summertime.

© 2008 Daisy


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Such a fuzzy warm feeling of summer, all those moments when life is good, I just loved the lines
'Oh my,' says pure pink luscious lips ..........wrapped with images of nature produces a nice
underlying erotic feel..............roll on summer!
A really feel good poem Daisy with alot of yummy images!

Posted 16 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

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Nix
Aw, this is so cute. I'm just readin through the poems entered into my poetry comp, really enjoyed this and just have to say - what a great title!! Thank you for entering. ~ Nix

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked the story telling throughout the piece. That was fun. The use of color descriptors added a bit of surrealism. I liked the repetition of lips line as the traveler / observer within the story. Nice little poem. Thanks for sharing it.

Cheers!
Doc.


Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love the colours of your poem. So warm and summery!!!

Great write!!!

Josie

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amazing use of consonance throughout especially that last line. it's so much fun to just say out loud. delicious!

its been awhile since i've read a poem so rife with ooey gooey smarmish colors, textures, tones, and sounds.

yay!

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think the only thing better than spring is summer and the only thing better than summer is kissing!!!!
What a sweet, wonderful and whimsical poem this is.... it made a happy little feeling happen - I can imagine this illustrated with bright and big-eyed characters. Great little write here.

Kath

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

oh what a great fun piece... love it ...

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Light, whimsical and fun. Beautiful imagery throughout this piece. Why am I thinking of the Nemo movie, I do not know? Reminds me of the spring that is right around the corner. Thanks for sharing, Daisy! :-)

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I must say, a nice visualization you have here, Daisy! Your peice here radiates nothing but light, happiness and bliss. I was a bit depressed all through this day due to some personal reasons, yet I could not help but smile. My face muscles reacted on their own accord, as my brow straightened and my lips gently moved to form a curve that made a smile.

As I'm not very good with grammer, I will be focusing the theme of the peice only. Literally, I found no errors. And your theme is very cheerful indeed and I loved it. A nice work. ~KA~

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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.
Hehe, I thought this was a very cute piece. I, too, wish it was summertime right now. My best seasons are Spring and Fall, but a bit of Summer i like, too ;) Very well crafted!

Mikey

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really a nice piece and I simply loved the entire feel..the fuzziness and warmness in it.
Nice visualization daisy... :)
Very delightful and very well written.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 4, 2008

Author

Daisy
Daisy

Haywards Heath, United Kingdom



About
Hello, I'm Daisy and I've heard a lot about you guys. Over the past few years I've been trying to write so now I wanted to see what everyone thinks. I know there's some amazing talent here so I'm a bi.. more..

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