Sorrow.

We've all felt it before. This is how it has affected me.

Times can get tough, they can make it so you don’t want to live. Just hearing something can bring everything into the light again. Being around someone can bring everything back. Sometimes things just get to be too much, you feel like there is no way out, no way to express anything anymore…you feel like you’re a shadow of someone you once were. Then one day, you think to yourself, “What can it hurt? I have lost what I once had close to my heart, I have no one” the dark monster takes over your head, your body, you then punish yourself, make marks on your body to ease the pain and sorrow you feel deep down inside.

It does hurt to realize these things, but sometimes you just give up, and I have. I have given up, I’ve closed myself up, I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know why I was put on this planet. What is my purpose? I ask myself everyday, “what is my purpose on Earth? Why was I born if I am not good enough for anything?” Due to this feeling, I have lost people, I”ve distanced myself from people I once loved. I make gestures to certain people I shouldn’t, people who I feel things for, but people I can nor will ever have. I try my hardest to stay smilin’ everyday, to push those negative thoughts out of my head, but sometimes you just have to put on an act, and fake those smiles, fake the happy moments, the laughs. Pretend to have fun when you’re just feeling singled out and just want to curl in a ball and die.

Sorrow is nothing fun, once you’re experiencing it, it will never go away, it will linger inside you and overwhelm who you are… I know.

Author's Note

I'm sorry this is depressing, I felt the need to say how it has affected me. Let me know your thoughts