The past of my Little Self

In the past,

Loneliness refreshed Her

It helped Her puzzled mind to put the pieces of Her life together

Rather than feeling isolated 

She felt normal. She felt Herself.

She didn't use to mind that the people who care were not there

She liked them not being there to see Her cry or laugh

She felt like She did not need anyone in Her life

She didn't want to depend on anyone

And She felt scared when people wanted to depend on Her

Because my Little Self thought, that,

Closeness was a weakness, something She refused to deal with

She did not open Her heart to anyone 

The pain of separation

The pain of betrayal

Terrified Her, like the dark terrifies a little child

But the loneliness She clung to was just an easy answer

A short cut maybe

She told Herself it's natural

It's the way She is

But She was wrong

She has never felt the idea of love

But She chose to find happiness in a busy crowd

And She found it.

She still hugs loneliness 

But it's not because of negativity

You need to be alone with yourself

To try and comprehend the bliss that surrounds you.