Drifter

  The winds wander through the nights

Knocking at the windows

Sliding in through the doors

Wanting to be known but

It is just wind

It can never be seen

When it starts to rattle the doors

For it to be known

It terrifies everyone

As people will never know how it feels

To be desperate

And fate will never allow it

to be with someone

as it is fated to flow

no spot to rest

no door to go home

Reviews

[Michelle Saldana]

I like how you've captured the wind's essence, both on the surface and the deeper, emotional layers beneath.

I do think that with a little fine-tuning, it can be a bit more impactful.

For example, instead of "Wanting to be known but", what if you tried, "Yearning to be recognized, yet"?

"Yearning" feels more intense, and "recognized" just gives off that vibe of wanting to be seen on a deeper level, you know? Not just "known".

Anyway, just my two cents! Great stuff.

[Daisy's Cafe]

thank you for the review... and yes u r right about that... will surely change the line.