Price of Freedom

Is it bitter?

 

For the first time in ages she had fought the demon. With the fury that  was characteristic of her family long ago, she regained control of her body. Somehow, by sheer willpower alone—willpower she should have lost long ago—she managed to force the monster out: out of her mind, out of her soul, into the open.

 

It was a novel sensation for the demon. For years, he had listened to the anguished mental cries, as he twisted her body and committed atrocity after atrocity, forcing her to watch in terror and disgust. She had been his praised pet; most entertaining and as harmless as a declawed and defanged old lioness.

 

And now his little lioness had broken free, suddenly full of fire and will to fight. It might have been new, but it was also entertaining, the demon decided. He would break her again, of course.

 

He reached out for her mind—the mind he knew so well—and started tearing through the memories that he knew would make her break down. He forced her to relive the death of her beloved brother, all over again. And then, as she sobbed and begged for him to stop, and for her brother to come back, he started destroying her memories of him.

 

He would take all her memories, her only treasures.

 

 

She fell to her knees sobbing, desperately trying to retain at least a bit of her identity. Something, anything—the tiniest bit of memory, a hint of who she was… But the demon kept diving deeper and deeper into her mind, ripping everything apart and leaving only emptiness.

 

Ever so slowly her sobs died down and she stopped resisting. Her mind was now an almost total blank, with only a tiny nagging feeling that told her that she should kill the thing before her. Wordlessly, she stared into the water of the pond. The sand was falling around her hands, as the water calmed.

 

And then she rose; giddily, as if she were drunk. For the first time in years her face was calm and so was her mind. For the first time in years one could again see the eerie serene beauty of her pale skin and silvery hair and how oddly they contrasted with her violet eyes.

 

Slowly, dreamily she headed forward, deeper into the pond, her eyes never leaving the triumphant demon. She was mere inches away from him, knee deep in water, when suddenly, she ducked. With one smooth move she grabbed a sword that she had just noticed. It had been lying behind a decorative rock, hidden from her view. With one smooth move she burried it in the demon's chest, piercing his heart.

 

Looking up, still ever so serene, she twisted the blade.

 

Author's Note

Is this confusing?

Reviews

[Joanna Maharis]

I don't think this is confusing at all. It's really a very beautiful narrative, that reads like a poem. It captures the imagination with its thought provoking images. I relate in someways to the character in the story. I love this story very much so. It's extremely powerful, and cuts deep into the heart and soul of the reader in that it enabled me to not only feel something for the main character in the story, but it allowed me to experience the same emotions the character in the story was feeling, as if we were one being. Great job. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Gabriela]

Everything happens too suddenly in this story, it's good, but it needs some work on the ending.
It's sort of confusing. Some of the things need a bit more description. But that's all.
This is actually very good.

[phoenix on the rise]

good wording. nice flow. ending needs work. too sudden.ruins ssuspense. otherwise really good

[Hyacinth]

for example they have a neighbor that is rich and they are close to them..they will attract there attention away from there things and when they are distracted they will give some excuse like "i dont feel so good...ill just go to the restroom..." but he will really not go to the bath room...
he will steal there treasures instead...

do you understand now??

[Lyndie Bolt aka JustRac..]

The suddenly notice wording is a bit jarring. Something a little smoother is warrented with the ending Put the "drove it right into the demons heart." into a different sentence so that it has a more dramatic impact. She is killing herself, right? When you first mentioned water I was thinking it was a sink. Probably setting what she is looking into is a pond or lake may be an idea that would make the ending more 'gut' wrenching