Upon Lifes Battle

O strong brilliant striving breed
Those who seek that light
Thrive to endure this life's mean bending
That resistance changes thee a'right
Swift flowing battle peace's bridging
Secret clashing formula bound

How crushing growing goes that now
By these seeds are laid blinding
Dancing dangers fling that learning
In these designs Lifes hiding
Therefore branches sting that climbing
No worth in numbing ease

Seek these that Cruel Cracked Crown
So in that dies regret and bleeding
For in thy wounds be that light a'hiding
No gold in lazy lying, but ground
For growing goes that blazing star

Where no reach touch that night
Seek that rightful strife go causing
Toward knowing self is grinding
In this bliss is war well fought & knowing
For no fight toward Self in vain

Author's Note

I'm into philosophy and understanding life in general. Out of my own meditations I often arrive at insights or ideas, and use these in my poetry. Here is one, that talks about the relevance of life's trouble's and how I feel they serve a purpose in personal growth.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but some of the language you've used does come across as a little dated in this piece. It doesn't necessarily detract from the whole, but it still appears a little forced. I'd consider cutting some of the more egregious examples and focusing instead on more powerful imagery instead of the sort of somewhat overdone stuff you have been using.

[Daegal]

Thank you very much for your thoughts Trigorin. Ill definitely take your advice! I appreciate the honest and helpful feedback!