The Sorceress of Acer

Related To my collaboration with Phoenix De Lafe, kind of background information, I guess you could say.

Her name was Ancoura. For one hundred years, she reigned over the Forest of Acer. The bitterness and hatred in her heart ran deep.

She was born on the slopes of Mount Vileinie. At the age of seven, abandoned by her mother to the ravages of winter in the forest, she was found by a band of hunters who delivered her to the palace, where she began to learn the truth of the world. Ancoura was made a servant girl, but even her station could not keep her from befriending Prince Attra.

The hardship of her early teenaged years was somewhat lessened by her friendship, but grew more arduous as she grew older. She had grown into a beautiful maiden whose beauty was rivaled by none, but her fairness could not capture the heart of the prince she loved.

When her handsome prince was wed, she fled the palace, cast down in her heart. By the age of seventeen, she had learned the deepest, darkest secrets of Black Magic.

While a servant, she had often escaped into the forest to visit a witch who lived there. The witch taught her many things that could not be found in the modern world anymore. Before she left the palace, she went back to the witch one last time, to take what was rightfully hers, the knowledge of things that escaped other people in the world.

In her later years, she went back to the palace and the ruined King and Queen. The Queen fell by Ancoura’s hand. Trickery and Illusion earned her a night with the King. It was the only chance she ever had to show him her love and devotion, for he died soon after the loss of his beloved wife.

Within a year, a child was born, and now at her death, I, Leif, tell her story.

  My Mother's life lasted uncommonly long due to a spell which I have only recently recovered in her vast archives of collected knowledge. After the death of her love and his queen, my mother's spirit withered in remorse for her actions. Some would argue that this remorse was only for the fear her soul would not reach the afterlife and that she increased her lifespan in order to ensure that she fully rectified her past actions. I cannot credit this legend with knowledge of my mother, nor can I discredit it. I do believe that my mother genuinely desifed to make right her sins, but I do not know whether her purpose was in search for salvation in the afterlife. The few pieces of knowledge I do hold of my mother involve those objects which she created to help rescue the world from former companions who drew on the powers of the earth to control the elements and ultimately the world.

   Not long after Ancoura's objects were established with their powers than her would-be companions discovered their powers stripped from them and the "treachery" committed from within their own society and ranks. When my mother's plot to keep the society from ruling the world was revealed to those magic users, they threatened her immortality that was given to her when she entered the society in her younger years if her creations were not handed over. When the true nature of my mother's creation was revealed, all the members of the society joined their powers against her in an effort that was meant to kill.  The spell of True Immortality protected her in the beginning, however, and destroyed those who wove their magics against her. The effects of their efforts to destroy her soon revealed themselves in an illness that would consume her, though. Knowing that her life would not last much longer, my mother created me.

   I know not from whence I came- perhaps it was a spell that is lost in the library that is now under my possession. While most children are born as babies, though, I was born as one who would be around the age of five years in a common life. In the timespan of a year, I grew from five to fifteen years, and in that last year of my mother's life, she taught me all she could about everything she knew. Mainly, my mother taught me the plan to save the world from self-destruction should the objects fall into the wrong hands. To instruct me further than her life would allow, she left a journal that I have only recently discovered  and have yet to read. I lived the first eleven months of my life in a routine that included only the development of my own knowledge. Like my body, my mind expanded rapidly, absorbing all pieces of knowledge it encountered. The last month of that first year, my mother retired into her deathbed. As she was able, she taught me more about herself, but sickness would taker over several times in a single day. Sometimes I believe that it would have been better had she been killed when the society joined against her, but then, her plan would not be able to take on the action that is going on in the world at this moment. I have arranged things as far as my mother instructed before telling me to go on with what I believed the best thing to do with the world at my fingertips. As the Sorceress of Acer, I am able to now ensure the world, that it will soon be back to the peace and prosperity it saw before the age of magic and pirates took it over.

Author's Note

not yet complete; I tried to stick a halfway decent end on it for the current moment. THIS IS NOT THE ORIGINAL THAT I PUT INTO THE VILLAINS CONTEST! What was in the villains contest ended when the narrator spoke her name.

Reviews

[ah]

everything that i post is only my opinion which MAY help you. please take what i say with a grain of salt. i only wish to place my input and reaction upon this interestingly passionate piece.

"she was found by a band of hunters who delivered her to the palace, where she began to learn the truth of the world." i dont think needs a comma after palace before where.

"Before she left the palace, she went back to the witch one last time, to take what was rightfully hers, the knowledge of things that escaped other people in the world." i dont think u need a comma after time before to. i think you should use a colon after hers and before the instead of a comma.

"The spell of True Immortality protected her in the beginning, however, and destroyed those who wove their magics against her." i think it would flow better if you put however at the beginning of the sentence and didnt have a comma after beginning and before and after you make that change.

"The effects of their efforts to destroy her soon revealed themselves in an illness that would consume her, though." maybe it would flow better if you took out though at the end of the sentence and placed "after time passed," at the beginning of the sentence?

"I know not from whence I came- perhaps it was a spell that is lost in the library that is now under my possession." i think it would work if you took out that is after spell and before lost and had it read "perhaps it was a spell lost in the library that is now under my possession."

"While most children are born as babies, though, I was born as one who would be around the age of five years in a common life." i think it would flow better if you took out though and had the beginning of the sentence read "although most children..."

"In the timespan of a year, I grew from five to fifteen years, and in that last year of my mother's life, she taught me all she could about everything she knew." i think this is a run on sentence. i think that you can have a period after fifteen years and start a new sentence with in that last year, but i would change it to "during that last year" because of repetitive reasons.

"Mainly, my mother taught me the plan to save the world from self-destruction should the objects fall into the wrong hands." I think this would read smother if you placed mainly after mother and before taught.

"To instruct me further than her life would allow, she left a journal that I have only recently discovered and have yet to read." i think the and should be turned into a but.

"As she was able, she taught me more about herself, but sickness would taker over several times in a single day." I think it would read smoother if you said "she taught me more about herself when she was able, but sickness..."

"As the Sorceress of Acer, I am able to now ensure the world, that it will soon be back to the peace and prosperity it saw before the age of magic and pirates took it over." i think the PERFECT 2 ending words to this sentence are "overtook it."

this was a very fascinating read and i enjoyed all of the emotion and colors you painted in this writing. you have something going here. thank you for asking me to read.

[Florian]

I have an Acer computer too.

[DarkAngelWriter]

To be honest, the title tried to shoo me off. When I clicked on the read request, the look of the piece tried to shoo me off. The only reason I read it was because I woulda felt bad just 'x'ing you off my read request without actually reading it. So, I did. And know what?

It was awesome!

[Spoken]

wow.. a LOT of collabs going on lately. I looove fantasy. Very interesting and captivative write. Well penned my friend!