That one time I cried

So I lost the love of my life and this is just a memory of one of them hard nights I have to go to

I can't remember the last time I cried but I do remember times that I have cried.

I hate thinking about that dark period in my life, mostly because I worked so hard to get passed it. Those years of my life... damn.... I was so???.... So f*****g sad. No, I was hurting, in pain. As I look back I remember everything. I member this one night I held my pillow so tight. Held it so f*****g tight over my face. That night was the loudest I've ever cried, Screaming in pain. I never thought Id be happy again.

Its weird but at this moment I'm wanting to help.... Go back and let me know im going to be okay, hold myself and be there for that lil m**********r.


I don't know if this is fucked to say but this is the second time im saying this.
"I hate that it took me losing my first love, Jen. I hate that I had to lose everything, suffer and hurt, but I love who I am today. How I see things, How Ive learned, How I came to appreciate. How I feel that it's made me a better person.
I miss my baby, Jen. I was going to marry ya girl...
But if I could go back and change the past so I can be with her again.... I wouldn't."

I love who I am today... I'm happy and I love this life of mine.

Author's Note

This is my life what I've been through.