Zombie Outbreak Movies: World War Z

Just a quick detour to write about the new World War Z movie released this week.

 

 

     A friend asked me to spend some more time covering a few more little known facts about zombie outbreak survival. So I thought I would take the time in this update to comment on the new and soon to be released World War Z movie (www.worldwarzmovie.com   --  release date: June 21, 2013).

 

     I also need to answer my daughter’s question (FAQ) about zombies and vampires. So I will do that soon enough. The questions are piling up and I promise to get to all of them. My daughter is a young zombie outbreak expert in training. She asked a very intelligent question and I owe her an answer. I’m proud of the way she is developing into a very sweet zombie outbreak expert. She just received her 1^st Texas State certification as a Junior Bad A*s swordsman.

 

     As a follow-up, I’ll mention just some of the work my agency has me in the field doing lately in regards to the tornado outbreaks in Oklahoma. No! A tornado outbreak isn’t going to start a zombie apocalypse…ever.

 

     So who am I again? I’m a zombie outbreak expert. You might say I have a black belt in zombie apocalypse survival. You might say that, but I would slap you a few times and reiterate that I have no less than seven black belts (certifications) in zombie apocalypse survival. When I write I try to focus on the big ticket survival info like guns and ammo and zombie eradication strategies, tactics, facts, and other skills that will save you in a zombie outbreak.

 

     I do agree with my friend, again, sometimes I need to dial it down a few notches and cover some basic general purpose information and current affairs just for the sake of making you, the potential pandemic zombie outbreak survivalist, as smart as I can make you. This is no easy task, but I am ultimately here writing this to perform a public service.

 

     First things first. Did you get your flu shot yet? It’s never too early or too late to get a flu shot. Don’t be an a*****e. Do your fair part now to help save humanity. If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem. Get your flu shot. Confused about what I mean? Then you need to read all of my zombie outbreak public service notices.

 

     Okay, what could I possibly tell you, the potential zombie outbreak victim, right now that you might wish you had known during a zombie apocalypse? The answer is: lots.

 

 

     I am a United States Marine, a Captain of Marines, a father, a husband, a federal agent, a combat specialist, trainer, and tactician. I am a zombie outbreak expert, I am a zombie apocalypse survival expert, and I am a Certified Texas Bad-A*s, according to the card in my wallet. I’m the only person I know to have received a perfect score in the standardized Texas State High School Academic Test, the Math section of the SATs, and the Marine Corps’ famous Leadership Reaction Course.

React Course? Want to know more about it? I’m not allowed to tell you about it. Lose some weight, get in shape, apply to be recruited, and then go to Quantico as a Marine Officer Candidate and hold on to your a*s. Failing the course is average. You’ve been warned.

 

 

 

World War Z (release date June 21, 2013)

 

 

     So when the fecal matter impacts the rotating aerial oscillator and you find yourself right in the middle of a full blown Z-virus outbreak, will it look anything like what they’ve created for the Hollywood zombie movie World War Z? No, it won’t.

     The trailers for the movie show these computer generated swarms of superfast zombies jumping and flying all over the place eating into humanity at the rate of a swarming super hive of driver ants tromping through the sub-Saharan jungle�" driver ants: dorylus subgenus anomma. Check them out on NatGeo or here on YouTube:  www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LE2DSXBOgg

     Contrary to the Trailer for the movie, real zombie outbreaks actually work a lot more like Brazilian zombie ant outbreaks as seen here in a NatGeo article: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/03/pictures/110303-zombie-ants-fungus-new-species-fungi-bugs-science-brazil/

 

What’s the difference between the two potentials? Speed

 

     The Z-virus does not spread fast enough to wipe out humanity in the 90 minutes it takes for most Hollywood movies. The speed that the virus spreads in this World War Z movie is absolutely unrealistic. The zombies are way too fast in this movie trailer. Take a look at the spread of the virus in the movie Contagion. It takes weeks, months, and years to wipe out 5 billion people.

     I’ve asked you all before… When it comes to zombie apocalypse survival, are you prepared, are you capable of defending your s**t, are you strong enough, are you mean enough to survive the total collapse of humanity for at least 72 months? Yes!!! That’s how long you financed that new car!

     And it’s only 72 months if everything works in humanity’s favor and if zombie outbreak response teams like my North Texas Division Frisco Unit can stop and stave off the extreme tragic development of zombie hives. What the bleep are zombie hives?

     The best movies that show anything like this full zombie apocalypse potential are…well… you’d have to blend together Contagion, Zombieland, Resident Evil, AMC’s TV show The Walking Dead, and the video game StarCraft. You can see the StarCraft Hive video game trailer here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi4QKOvD8t8. Otherwise, the best single movie depiction really is the crappy Resident Evil movie series.

     For this new zombie apocalypse movie, World War Z, I’m lowering my expectations and I’m ready to hate it like I do most zombie movies. One of my zombie outbreak rules/tenets: Lowering your expectations is always the best way to increase your chances of achieving satisfaction. Unlike Warm Bodies, which I liked, I think World War Z will bomb phenomenally and actually hurt the potential for new zombie movies being made in the future, much like Watchmen sucked so hard royally that it ruined the superhero movie market for a long time after its release. Alas, I must go see this newest zombie movie at least once on opening weekend.

 

 

     Okay. That’s all for now. Check back with me for more in this series…plus I did promise to explain the connection between Zombies and Vampires; they have more in common than you know.

 

Today’s news about a new deadly virus outbreak:  

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/us-health-officials-prepare-sars-viruss-arrival-19309693.

 

 

The zombie apocalypse is never very far away.

 

 

Five Quickie Zombie Outbreak Survival Tips:

1)      Get your flu shot.

2)      Invest in some 9mm pistols and ammo.

3)      Invest in a few military grade machetes.

4)      Practice Practice Practice.

5)      Don’t be an a*****e.

 

Try to remember these. You will be tested soon.

Author's Note

Have fun...but still get ready.