Zombie Outbreak FAQs #2

A Story by D Allen

I'm trying to build a consistent understanding of true to life zombie outbreaks. This is part of my ongoing public service zombie outbreak training series. Are you ready for an outbreak?

More Zombie Outbreak FAQs

Q: Why do zombies bite people and why do they crave brains?

A: Zombies bite and claw at living things (dogs, cattle, snakes), things that move, and sometimes other zombies too. Texas A&M lab results show that the zombie brain is barely active. Only the parts of the brain controlling basic simple animalistic senses based primarily in the medulla oblongata; the brain stem, are active. This means the typical zombie (I’ll discuss atypical zombies in a later article) can see, hear, and taste. Their limited brains are active only to ensure the survival of the Z-virus and this virus intends to spread itself to survive. Zombies only want to eat and spread the infection"they’re not much more complicated than that in direct contradiction to most zombie movies.

There is very little brain activity in a typical zombie and what activity there is has almost no residual mind/psyche/mental abilities compared to the original host. Zombie brains drive the reanimated corpse to primarily bite non-infected people to spread the virus. Because the Z-virus is active in body fluids, a zombie bite transfers the virus in saliva and other body fluids. The Z-virus is known to have an extremely short infectious potential outside the human body, so a saliva filled zombie bite will usually do just fine to infect someone. The Z-virus must then travel through the victim’s nervous system/brain to grow and thrive, so a bite to the brain has the highest and fastest potential for infection. This may be why a number of zombie movies show zombies with a hunger and craving for brains.

Texas A&M studies show zombies are no more fond of eating detached brains than they are of eating detached fingers or pigs for that matter. Zombies feed for two reasons: 1) primarily to spread the virus, and 2) to maintain an energetic metabolism that allows the zombie to keep moving. A zombie will always attack a living breathing thing rather than an already dead thing. A zombie will almost never feed on a dead person or a piece of meat or detached body part. Their brains remain at least sophisticated enough to differentiate between dead things and living things.

A zombie that is isolated and starved will quickly die, usually within about 2 weeks in the best conditions (some climates are better than others " think of cigar humidors). A zombie with access to food and that isn’t damaged in some other way can stay infectious and mobile for about 90 days in the best climate. In many cases a zombie will start to eat parts of its own body to avoid starving, to prolong its life. This is critical to study zombie outbreak models. How many people can become infected, how fast can it spread, and how long before the Z-virus runs out of people to infect locally and/or globally? Don’t let the 90 days fool you into false hope. There is plenty to worry about beyond 90 days and I will discuss that in this continued series.

Q: Is there a cure for zombies?

A: No. There is no cure for zombies. Extermination is the most appropriate response. Zombie movies often allude to a potential cure, but this is pure Hollywood fiction and not really very good fiction either. The Z-virus needs a living host to infect. Only living breathing people can get infected. I recall a movie I saw where a man’s wife died naturally and so he went and got some zombie blood and that reanimated her. He kept her chained up in the basement.

Dead people cannot be reanimated with the Z-virus, but I can see how this is confusing to some people. If you contract the Z-virus, you will get sick, die, and then become zombified. By the way, once you die, you are truly gone. There is almost nothing of the person’s mind/psyche/personality left in a reanimated corpse. It’s also pure Hollywood fiction to see a person reason with a zombie or talk to a zombie or communicate with a zombie or train the zombie to do things like work in a factory.

Once a person becomes a zombie, that person ceases to exist and there is no cure that can bring them back. Being infected with stage 2 (active) Z-virus is like getting the flu. There is no cure for the flu and there is no cure for zombification. Prevention is the obvious best option you need to exercise.

Go get your flu shot!

There is a vaccine for the Z-virus, which I discussed in detail in my other parts to this series. This vaccine would do nothing for someone who is already infected. It is only useful in preventing future infections. The Z-virus vaccine increases a person's immunity to Z-virus. There are huge risks and side-effects with the vaccine as I talked about in my last report.

Q: What are the best weapons against zombies?

A: I’ll have a detailed discussion of weaponology (guns and other weapons) later, but the absolutely best weapon against zombies is intelligence; stupid and dumb people don’t really have much of a chance in a pandemic zombie outbreak. Life in a zombie outbreak will be tough, but it will be tougher if you’re stupid, infinitely tougher.

The next best weapon is prevention, which I talked about already. If that fails, the next best weapons are stealth, speed, and distance. If you move fast enough and stay away from zombies and other sick people, you can survive against zombies well enough.

One more thing, which I can’t stress enough… Stay away from stupid people"even stupid people with guns. Stupid people are like zombie magnets. Don’t be stupid and also avoid stupid people. In fact, one of my personal zombie outbreak survival protocols is to treat stupid people like zombies and eradicate them when I come into contact with them.

I’ll list all my zombie outbreak survival protocols soon in future written reports. Stay tuned.

In the next part I will cover more FAQs.

So did you get your flu shot yet? Do it! Your survival depends on it! What are you waiting for?