THE DISMAL GROAN

The Dismal Groan is a formal lament by the speaker to his brother by the name Plaintiff Barrister whom the speaker is accusing of complicity in wrongdoings related to his job of barrister.

My dear brother plaintiff barrister,

Please, kindly yield to my plaint, I groan my lord

Though I know you won’t wholly assent:

That, just like I had you warned,

To be the minion was quite disgraceful on you  

Was only the barest truth and quite unlike

Being this appellant’s dismal groan

" i.e. the dignifying complaint"

That by you being thus too, my lord

You would habitually rape the justice

How do you plead, my dear my lord?

For upon being spoiled by the bellied buddies,

It often would compel on you that perverted duty

Since each time the rogues had you cracked, my lord

You’d to parrot that very damn urge so truly well

Even when it meant to burden more than you’d

Like when just lately you’d to conspire to pervert

That entire course to sprite for those odd vices’ sake;

Except all in all, without slightest regard for

The utmost good and also in the same vein that you

Cared not about your butt, nor guided by those

Virtues that befit the barrister we so cherished in you

Yet for the sake of upholding these ill wishes-for

You at last groped; inflicting such grave harm upon

Innocence and upon yourself too, my lord

Hence, these crushing rumors about you, my lord

Rife upon the winds tapping on my ear drums

Cause me to day in day out dismally groan

About you, my dear brother my lord.